Toys

Robin Williams is one annoying fruitcake. Banal Baltimore director Barry Levinson made the right choice when deciding to collaborate with the middle aged toddler on the perverse Hollywood studio film Toys. A film that is one of the most ambitious and odd projects to come out of Hollywood possibly since The Wizard of Oz. Like The Wizard of Oz, Toys has various cryptic and ambiguous messages. The type of messages that you only expect the money men to know about.

Toys is also partly a musical, featuring a couple tunes that will either scare you to death or make you wave your arms with joy. I don’t think it would be outrageous to say that the film would fit right at home with a businessman in the child pornography industry. This is another reason why I am not surprised that Robin Williams plays the lead, a grown man-child named Leslie Zevo that has a spectacular yet worthless intellect. Leslie has an archenemy in the form of his uncle Lt. General Leland Zevo. Leland has a mulatto son played by no other than LL Cool J.


General Leland has decided he wants to make weapons in the form of toys that children can use to kill tons of people. Due to their young age, the children will not be able to comprehend the moral consequences of their actions. Quite a good idea on Leland’s part indeed. Zany Leslie decides he has to stop uncle Leland with a virtual army of toys. Of course we can expect the power of objects that make children smile to triumph over the evil toy weapons.

The horribly unattractive Joan Cusack plays the role of Leslie’s robot sister (I wonder what else she does for Leslie?). Leslie also has an attractive Aryan girlfriend (who could only be after him for his money). I couldn’t imagine Robin Williams with any woman, let alone an attractive one. However, I could see him dressed up in British nanny drag enjoying himself very much. Robin Williams has an asexual first name for a reason.


Hans Zimmer (possibly a relative of mAQ) provided the sometimes exciting soundtrack for Toys. The set-design for Toys is also quite extravagant bordering on a Neo-Fellini ripoff style. I really don’t see how Barry Levinson got involved in this project as he is about as boring as Hollywood filmmakers get. I guess his job during the films production was to direct the microphone operators how to stand.

Toys has a nice new age hippie peace message. Wussy Leslie is a hero because he doesn’t like mean toys. Uncle Leland is a super mean guy because he likes to watch stuff explode and possibly see some limbs fly. In the end, Toys is an aesthetically entertaining and enjoyable experience. A film that lands somewhere in between a nice surrealist childlike adult film and Michael Jackson’s deepest darkest fantasy.

-Ty E