Saturday, October 4, 2008

Jack Frost


As a toddler, the idea of a killer snowman always made my imagination laugh. I much preferred the ones displayed in Calvin & Hobbes (See Attack of the Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons). The cover of Jack Frost displayed a truly ridiculous "evil" snowman that screamed horrifying and deadly. Although the one in the film is...cuddly. No likeness in between the two. False advertisement is a bitch.


A conveniently placed toxic truck crashes with a prisoner transport truck. 1 + 1 = 2 (Horror formulaic equation) and a killer snowman is born and on the loose in a small town looking for revenge to the sheriff who imprisoned his human form. These ideas always look good on paper but never turn out well. Jack Frost is another premature horror film that came too soon from the industry womb with a ridiculous villain that never should have been. I don't know what's more threatening, Jack Frost or Gingerdead Man?


The highlights of these cheesy rental horror films are kills no doubt, so lets have a look at some of them. Jack Frost can manipulate his molecular structure which results in a really cool icicle shooting appendage. That's a pretty nice addition to an otherwise boring and silly film, but for the most part the kills are stupid and barely humorous. One-liners go into overkill mode in attempt to make this snowman an iconic slasher villain. Thankfully, that never happens.


I cant tell if its satire or not, but Jack Frost "dies" many times in this film. When I quote die, I mean when the hero disposes of him but never does the finishing blow. That scene happens 3+ times as Jack Frost gets melted, shot, soaked up, and finally anti-freezed to death. The methods of his annihilation were entertaining as well as the ingenious storing him in bottles to bury. Jack Frost is pure rental fodder. I could never recommend this as it is not memorable in any sense, but it is a fine novelty.


-mAQ

4 comments:

  1. I think "carrot rape" is pretty memorable.

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  2. LOL! The carrot rape scene is pretty much the only thing I remember from this film. I wonder if Shannon Elizabeth still puts that on her resume.

    This movie is silly and nothing more. It's just extremely funny and I still enjoy it when I catch it every once in a while. Definitely a movie to watch with the family around Christmas time.

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  3. Shit the scene where the snow man frowns and pushes the kid in front of the bobsled which decapitates him is very memorable. This movie is in the same class as Mosquito or Skeeter or what fucker ever movie had Gunner Hansen fighting giant mosquitoes with a chainsaw.

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  4. Skeeter was a dear film to me as a child, but after attempting to watch it again a couple months ago, I was left disappointed.

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