Saw V

"Here we go again!" - Brendan Fraser in The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor.

This above line was looping through my mind at an incredible velocity as I slowly trudged through the remnants of the once average Saw franchise. All shit hit the fan after Saw II was released only to be slightly redeemed by the second sequel - which was pushing it as it was. In the 5th (Eagh!) installment, director David Hackl creates a morbid sequel weighed down by so much "elusive" material that the film strays from the suspense torture into another one of those incredibly average and dare I say, boring, detective stories. Righteous Kill comes to mind when dissecting the fifth installment.


As you can expect, Saw V has an ending that wants you to scream "Oh Shit!" but this one is painstakingly predictable. Saw V is nothing but vapid material only created to set forth a string of extra occurrences which happens in two universes - the Hollywood industry and the in-film multiverse. Saw is a series that refuses to die no matter how many sad souls it tricks into buying tickets. Taking in mind that I enjoyed the first and third for being needless torture for people who didn't pay school dues and other silly trife, Saw V is a sequel that is among the worst of the series and I implore you to not see this film.


Saw V cheat sheet so you don't have to see it. If you want to experience an incredibly boring film to the maximum, do not read this following paragraph. Tattooed man crushes his hands and gets his torso slowly sliced by pendulum only to be split in half. A Detective's head is placed in an airtight cube filled with water. He presumes to stab a hole in his neck so he can breathe - survives. V shaped razors attached to a cable pulls a girls head into them decapitating her instantly. Explosion rocks the bald man's world splattering him across the room. Girl is stabbed in neck then electrocuted into a crisp. Man is squished completely and twin buzz saws cut through finger webbing's upwards into the wrist. This completes most of the gore and the entire point of the films.


Saw V is a pretty bad film that is indecisively hard to sit through. At times, I found myself fidgeting hoping it would end sooner. Had the film been imagined by the original director's brainstorming, the twist might have been good or surprising. Nothing to see here except violence that can easily be found in classic video nasties which are much more filling in time for All Hallows Day. Easily forgettable and a preliminary excursion into the doomed series that is Saw. If purgatory is sweltering than Saw VI is scalding.

-mAQ