Afterman 2: A Kiss to the Devil

Call me crazy, but I highly doubt that neo-nazis and towelhead Islamic terrorists would unite as one to control Europa as some degenerate Islamic National Socialist Fourth Reich, nor do I think a bunch of lipstick lesbos with bad bleach and boob jobs would make for fervent ‘freedom fighters’ of the sexually and spiritually ennobled sort, but such is the ludicrous scenario presented in the sardonic dystopian cult flick Afterman 2 (2005) aka Afterman 2: A Kiss to the Devil directed by iconoclastic Flemish auteur Rob Van Eyck (De aardwolf, Blue Belgium). A worthy and all the more wanton and just plain wacky, if not innately inferior, sequel to distinguishably debauched director Van Eyck’s most internationally renowned celluloid work The Afterman (1985), Afterman 2 follows the ‘Afterman’ (once again played by Flemish Expressionist painter Jacques Verbist, who has gotten all the more chubby and cherub-like after some two decades) as he leaves exile in Mother Russia after his beauteous beloved drops dead and heads back to Belgium, only to learn that his homeland, as well as the rest of Europe, has turned into a demented Islamofascist-National Socialist dystopian dictatorship run by Osama Bin Laden that has enslaved most people in poorly constructed, easily escapable concentration camps that would send the average so-called 'asylum seeker' (aka illegal alien from the third world) scoffing in fits of laughter. Following a curious cuckold of an anti-hero who was anally raped, fed on muskrats, and was forced to give mad sodomite monks head in the original film The Afterman, many excerpts of which are revisited via a number of flashback scenes, Afterman 2 is about a man who has already dealt with love, loss, and bisexual sodomy yet who consciously decides to reenter a wild world of the anarchically neo-barbaric libertinage, lethality, and lunacy for the viewer’s sick pleasure. A sadomasochistically moral-free ‘black comedy’ of the no-budget Euro-cult variety (as opposed to the totally worthless and disposable ‘Euro-sleaze’ variety) with nods to old school 'women in prison' (WiP) flicks, Afterman 2 is director Rob Van Eyck's exceedingly eccentric and all the more pessimistic and misanthropic update on the decidedly degenerating state of Europa since The Afterman, where the continent has become entirely ‘multicultural’ and full of militant Muslims, thus, had he seen it, making the cult film possibly Anders Behring Breivik’s favorite, or at least a ‘guilty pleasure,’ which is also how I might describe the film.

 As indicated at the introduction of Afterman 2, “The year is 2012… After the September 11, 2001 tragedy and the subsequent wars and economical depressions, Europe became a self sustaining fundamentalist right-wing regime controlled by all kinds of fascistic militias.” Of course, the main menace in the film is a National Socialist-fetishizing Hitlerite Osama Bin Laden, who has a equally sex-obsessed Saddam Hussein, as well as a bunch of less than handsome neo-SS men, at his disposal, who have put most of Europe’s population into archaic concentration camps that make Auschwitz seem like some sort of technocratic super-prison from the somewhat distant future. As semi-literally written towards the beginning of Afterman 2, “Meanwhile, in far-away Russia, The Afterman decides, after the dead of his wife, to go back to his European Fatherland.” Undoubtedly, the Afterman is much more slob-like, rotund, and pussy-crazed since his debut in The Afterman some twenty years earlier, but he also seems much wiser and more stoic, and when he notices an elderly female lover hang herself when he leaves Russia, he pays her no mind nor pity. On his way out of Rusland, the Afterman is stopped by a Stalinist-like female guard, who notices the big bulge in his pants and forces him to allow her to aggressive suck him off.  After swallowing Afterman's big business, the raunchy Russian guard lets him know that in regard to his destination of Antwerp, Belgium that, “They deported everybody from there…Too much radiation!” The Afterman arrives in Europa in what seems to be a couple paces, even kicking over a pervert priest who is about to anally pork a naughty nympho nun in the process, but he is quite disturbed when he notices neo-fascist troops and tyrannical towelheads shooting and enslaving his people, so the post-apocalyptic hero starts killing the soldiers and saving big breasted babes. Eventually, the always affable Afterman hooks up with a group of semi-sadistic Sapphic revolutionaries called simply “The Women Rebels” who run a large beer brewery and one of the ostensibly gay gals, a broad name Britt (Frida Farrell) who magically speaks English (despite everyone else in the film speaking Dutch, French, etc.) falls in love-at-first sight with him after noticing his bulging ‘horsedick’ and gives him a sensual bubble bath, as the hero—being an unfortunate product of the post-apocalyptic age—has never had the luxury of bathing before. Of course, Britt’s lesbo lover freaks on her due to the burlesque bubble bath, for which she stoically responds, “So the fuck what?!…He’s never had a bath…he’s never seen soap…he’s such an old man, what could he do?” Meanwhile, Bin Laden becomes sexually-obsessed with Britt and her big tits, declaring, “I want the blond with the big hooters! Her big juicy jugs are perfect to put my kingssize cock in between!,” so his SS Henchman plot to get her. 

 Meanwhile, the Afterman and his Britt are attacked by fascistic EMT ambulance crew, which leaves the boorish hero beaten and bruised and his babe kidnapped by Bin Laden’s fresh crew. Naturally, the Afterman hooks up with the Women Rebels to get Britt back, even if she has already been sexually defiled by a big wig towelhead like Bin Laden, who enjoys reading the morning paper whilst loudly defecating on his luxury houseboat. Posing as classy caterers, the Afterman and the combat carpet-munchers manage to rescue Britt on Bin Laden’s luxury yacht and the two lovers sail away on a shitty ship that is ironically named “Poseidon” in a pseudo-romantic moment parodying epic celluloid garbage like James Cameron’s disaster turd Titanic (1997). Recalling a flashback from The Afterman where the hero watches a ritzy lesbo drowning a girl during poolside cunnilingus, the Afterman dreams of strangling to death said lethally lecherous lesbo with a gigantic red dildo. The Afterman and Britt eventually make it back to his radioactive Fatherland of Antwerp, which is still occupied by the same cult of medieval cocksuckers that forced the hero to give him head in The Afterman. The cult forces Afterman and Britt to share in eating the tiny heart of an innocent child they have just ritualistically sacrificed. Unbeknownst to them, Bin Laden, the SS men, and Britt’s ex have caught up with them and take Britt prisoner once again, but luckily the Women Rebels want revenge and they have the hospitable help of Afterman. Rather unfortunately, one of Bin Laden’s jealous SS men, who is in cahoots with Britt’s butch ex, gives Britt to a maniacal Mengele-esque Nazi butcher, who makes mincemeat of the little lady. After the Afterman and the Women Rebels exterminate the SS man and Britt’s ex, they discover a cooler with the label “Britt – Age 26” containing the organs of the apocalyptic hero’s great love. In a heartwarming farewell, the Afterman and the blond leader of the Women Rebels spread Britt’s ashes in a river and cross the border for Rusland. In the end, the Afterman man comes full circle, going from Russia to Antwerp to Russia again, but picking up a butch bleach blonde lesbo Führer on the way. 

 A scathing, if not intentionally stupid, scatological satire of modern day Europa and the world in general, Afterman 2 totally lacks the vague ‘arthouse’ element of The Aftermath, thus making it a work that will more likely appeal to philistine exploitation fans more than anyone else, which is sad considering the film’s lack of political correctness because, if anything, cultivated cinephiles and art fags need to be rid of their archaic leftist politics. Featuring the real voice of Osama Bin Laden dubbed into scenes with falsely translated subtitles about his “horsedick” and need to screw “blondes,” Afterman 2 is not exactly a film that was made to appeal to the ‘cultural sensitivity’ of European and American ‘social cuckolds’ who feel a need to cater to any swarthy untermensch that happens to be illegally squatting in their nation. As for Rob Van Eyck’s deranged dystopia where Islamic terrorists and neo-nazis unite as depicted in Afterman 2, such is nothing short of farcical fantasy because there is not a single nationalist group desperate enough in Europe to align themselves with tribes of towelheads in Europe, even if both groups are common perennial enemies of the Hebrew/Zionist. If the world ends with militant bull dykes waging hell against a Muslim National Socialist dictatorship, that still beats the more probable fate where Africans and Asian from the global south turn Europa into a third world sewer as is happening today, thus one could argue Afterman 2 makes the future seem brighter than it really is.  Apparently director Rob Van Eyck has decided not to wait another two decades for another sequel as Afterman 3, a work about a global warming disaster, just recently premiered at the Cannes Film Festival.  Needless to say, I cannot wait to see who rapes the Afterman in the ostensibly final chapter in the Afterman trilogy.

-Ty E