Only Decent People

I am not exactly sure of his exact cultural or ethnic background, but Dutch filmmaker Lodewijk Crijns (Met grote blijdschap aka With Great Joy, Kankerlijers aka YOLO: You Only Live Once) certainly stands out in the Netherlands for making rather racially-charged works of the somewhat dubious and uniquely artistically unmerited sort that are quite accessible to mainstream audiences, as if the filmmaker was trained at the same scatological Semitic film school as the Weitz brothers of American Pie fame. Indeed, with his first feature Jezus is een Palestijn (1999) aka Jesus Is a Palestinian, Crijns not only made a mockery of trendy cults run by megalomaniacs but also the absurdly ‘multicultural’ nature of the contemporary Netherlands, which is beginning to resemble a third world sewer in various urban parts. In his made-for-TV movie Loverboy (2003), Crijns dared to portray the taboo subject of Moroccan ‘loverboys,’ who seduce young and naive white Dutch girls and force them into sex slavery. Undoubtedly, the director’s most controversial yet commercially successful work to date is Alleen maar nette mensen (2012) aka Only Decent People, which is based on the 2009 best-selling novel of the same name by negrophiliac Dutch Israelite Robert Vuijsje (who notably received death threats due to his novel) and which was the second most popular film in the Netherlands in 2012 as a work that won the coveted ‘Gouden Film’ (a dubious award that more or less reduces the value of a film to its commercial success as opposed to artistic merit). Were the film not based on a book written by a Hebrew who is married to a negress, it is quite doubtful it would have ever been made, as it is an innately scathing cinematic work that wallows in rather raunchy racial stereotypes, especially of the Jew and negro oriented sort, with the latter group being depicted in such an unflattering, if not oftentimes realistic, way that one might as well describe Only Decent People as a sort of post-Jolson neo-minstrel show.  It should be noted that Jew-Negro ‘solidarity’ is nothing new in the Netherlands as demonstrated by the fact that Sephardic Jewish filmmaker Pim de la Parra directed the first Surinamese film, Wan Pipel (1976) aka One People, which depicts a bizarre love triangle between a Afro-Surinamese man, Dutch dame, and Hindi chick. As mentioned in passing in Only Decent People, most of the blacks that live in the Netherlands today are Afro-Surinamese since the South American nation of Suriname used to be a Dutch colony and many of these blacks speak Dutch and feel that the Netherlands owes them something since their ancestors were slaves. What makes Crijns' film vaguely intriguing is that it is about Black-Jew relations as opposed to the stereotypical Black-White relations, thus depicting a somewhat absurdist scenario where two different groups with their own very different sets of victim mentalities express their undying hostility for one another, but also their mutual resentment for the white Aryan Dutch.

 As a work about a super swarthy and short young bourgeois Dutch Jew from the upper-middleclass section of Amsterdam who dumps his longtime bitchy Jewess of a girlfriend so that he can realize his dubious dream of procuring a ‘ghetto fabulous’ negress with a big ass, equally big tits, gold teeth, and the cultural sophistication of the typical Detroit welfare queen, Crijns’ film has naturally caused much controversy in and outside of the Netherlands, with everyone from militant black nationalists to mainstream neo-liberal pansies to Zionist Jews condemning the film, as if such a retarded work were worthy of such eclectic attention. Indeed, Only Decent People is the height of aesthetic asininity and pre-packaged Hebraic Hollywood-esque humor, but at least it dares to depict Jews and negroes as something other than the imaginary morally superior virtual angels that they are oftentimes portrayed as in mainstream movies and television shows in the United States. Indeed, Crijns’ film depicts a world where all people are the same in the sense that they all consider themselves superior to other groups, with the Dutch Jews thinking they are superior to all other peoples, including the real white Dutch, and the Afro-Surinamese thinking they are superior to other types of blacks like Antillean and Ghanian negroes. Somewhat fitting for a conspicuously contrived work that lacks even the slightest inkling of artistic merit and was funded by various Jewish sources (including the Abraham Tuschinski Fund), Only Decent People features next to nil actual indigenous white Dutch people and is instead set in a sort of aburdist hyperrealist ‘allochtoon’ nightmare realm where all the less than flattering stereotypes about negroes and Jews that whites hope to ignore are cinematically projectile vomited into their face in what is ultimately a true celluloid disgrace that demonstrates that the Dutch are now paying dearly for their colonial roots and contemporary liberal approach to so-called multiculturalism, among other things.  With the film's gratuitous sex scenes featuring so-called ‘thick’ (translation: overweight) ghetto negresses and special emphasize on the fiercely fetishistic miscegenation-based fantasies of a philistine Jew that looks more like a Mexican Mestizo than a member of the same kosher cosmopolitan tribe as Trotsky and Spielberg, Only Decent People ultimately offers a more eclectically repugnant experience than any of the films of Russian artsploitation filmmakers like Andrey Iskanov and Svetlana Baskova, albeit with none of the marginal artistic merit.

 Like the author of the book of the same name that the film is based on, Only Decent People protagonist David Samuels (played by Geza Weisz, who is the son of Dutch Jewish filmmaker Frans Weisz of Naakt over de schutting (1973) aka Naked Over the Fence fame) is a bourgeois Hebrew with a soft spot for big black ghetto booties who narcissistically sport gold necklaces with their names on them. David lives in the nice respectable area of Amsterdam Old South which his overweight mother Judith (played by auteur Alex van Warmerdam’s wife Annet Malherbe) describes as a place where “only decent people” live, hence the ironical title of the film. Due to being fairly short and swarthy (not to mention the fact he dresses like a would-be-thug), David is oftentimes mistaken for being a Moroccan and thus always wears a Star of David necklace, or as he complains upon being mistaken for an Arab shoplifter by a super Aryan-looking blond male store clerk, “The Dutch can’t tell a Jew apart from a Moroccan. Or a Turk from a Moroccan. In the eyes of Dutch people, they’re all foreigners.” While David has had a happy relationship with his Jewish girlfriend Naomi (Sigrid ten Napel) for over seven years, his voracious thirst for fatty dark meat is beginning to become uncontrollable and he does not care if he brings great shame to his fellow Jews by starting a raunchy romance with a ghetto negress with multiple bastard kids. As the son of a half-Jewish father namedd Bram (played by real-life half-Jew Jeroen Krabbé) who is the proud “editor-in-chief of the only decent current affairs show on national TV” and who looks down on lesser sophisticated “textile Jews” like the protagonist’s girlfriend’s family, David ultimately brings the ultimate shame to his hyper hypocritical neo-liberal Hebrew community.  Luckily for the protagonist, his oh-so-proper family members are too weak and phony to take any real action against his sexually aberrant tendencies, at least at first.

 After offending his girlfriend Naomi by faking an orgasm because he is no longer aroused by her small kosher derriere, David abruptly decides to break things off with his beloved and begins hunting for a sizable dark diva, though she must be a spade sista' who has never been with a non-negro before as he wants to be the first Hebrew to hump her. In his search for a spade babe, David calls the sole negro he knows, Reginaldo, and tells him regarding what kind of woman he is looking for, “For me, she has to be as dark as possible. The darker she is, the closer she’ll be to nature.” Rather absurdly, David's black buddy is repulsed by dark dames and only dates blonde babes, stating of black women, “They’ve got hard, rough faces.” Ultimately, David finds a stereotypical black beastess named Rowanda (Imanuelle Grives) at a club and hits on her by proclaiming that you “can’t trust the Dutch,” as the protagonist rightly believes that he will find common ground with her in their assumed mutual hatred of white blond Aryans.  Not unlike the majority of black people living in the Netherlands, Rowanda is Afro-Surinamese and like of her relatives, she resents Jews as is especially apparent with her mother Janine (Urmie Plein), who states to the protagonist, “In Suriname, there are also Jews who think they’re the boss […] The Dutch owe a lot to Afro-Surinamese black people because of slavery.” As David remarks via narration regarding the similar victim mentality that both blacks and Jews have, “Negroes think of slavery every day. Besides negroes, nobody thinks of slavery. Jews think of World War II every day. Besides Jews, nobody thinks of World War II.”  In a rather bizarre scene that demonstrates David's delusional arrogance, the protagonist infuriates Janine by arguing that the holocaust was worse than centuries of black enslavement, as if some of the most heinous merchants during the African slave trades, not to mention top mass murderers of the 20th-century, were not Jewish.  Somewhat absurdly, Rowanda’s younger brother blames the fact that he, his sister, and most other Afro-Surinamese negroes have bastard kids on the fact that, “…my ancestors were separated from their families during slavery.” While Rowanda and her relatives trash talk on Jews and virtually every other race and culture, David mostly takes it like a little bitch aside from on the one occasion where he attempts to deflect Jewish guilt for the African slave trades by arguing that the holocaust was worse than slavery.  Indeed, like most miscegenators, David is willing to go to great masochistic extremes to be with his ‘African queen,’ but he soon learns that, as a pampered Israelite from Amsterdam's most posh neighborhood, he is not quite fit to live the ghetto negro lifestyle.

Rowanda incessantly tells David she doesn't like “stingy men,” which really means that she expects any man that is screwing her to buy her whatever she wants. When David does not last long the first time they ‘make love,’ Rowanda complains, “You don’t last long. You’re stingy,” but the protagonist does not mind as he ridiculously believes that he is in love and even tells his parents such.  Indeed, David describes having sex with a black woman as being like “another sport” in comparison to spoiled Jewish girls who, as the protagonist's ex-girlfriend demonstrates at the beginning of the film, just lay dead during coitus as if they are a corpse. When Rowanda comes to his mother’s conspicuously kosher birthday party, things end badly after the protagonist’s father Bram asks the black gal what her father does for a living. Like most members of the global African community, Rowanda is a fatherless bastard and she is so offended by Bram’s seemingly banal everyday question that she pathetically attempts to criticize him for owning and reading so many books, thus revealing her inferiority complex in the presence of an ostensibly sophisticated Jewish intellectual. Ultimately, David’s romance with Rowanda goes sour when he begins hanging out with her ‘pimp’ cousin Ryan (played by a rapper named ‘Negativ’), who mocks the Jewboy for partaking in cunnilingus (“Men don’t do that. We do not do oral sex. It’s humiliating”) and monogamy. Needless to say, when Ryan hooks David up with a low-class Antillean negress named Alessandra and Rowanda catches her kosher beau dancing with the dark dame at a club, all hell breaks loose. After assaulting Alessandra in a slapstick-oriented ghetto booty brawl, Rowanda slaps the shit out of David and screams at him, “You’re the opposite of a bounty, a white man who hangs out with blacks too much. You copy all their bad habits. At least, you know what to expect from a negro. You’re much more dangerous. I thought you had respect for me.” Naturally, Rowanda tells David to go fuck himself and Ryan assures him that he will help him to find more big black butts.  Of course, as fairly gentle Jew-boy David soon learns, his pathetic kosher libido is no match for Ryan's mandingo negro sexual virility.

 When David comes home after his fight with Rowanda, he is surprised to find his father and his friends in the company of a young well groomed negress named Rita (Belinda van der Stoep) who apparently has an internship at Bram's network and is studying Eastern European immigration to the Netherlands.  As a hardcore fan of ghetto fabulous negresses, David is rather offended by what he sees as Rita flushing her culture down his father’s kosher toilet and more or less accuses her of being a sell-out ‘Uncle Tom.’ David also rightly describes Bram and his Jewish friends’ conversation as being nothing more than “neo-liberal, armchair socialist talk” after listening to the old liberal Jews regurgitate rubbish about Israel that they probably heard Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz (aka ‘Jon Stewart’) pontificate about on The Daily Show.  In fact, David gets so agitated by the entire scenario that he accuses his father of being a phony half-Jew and then declares in a manner that makes him sound like some sort of militant post-Irgun Zio-gangster suffering from a bad case of wishful thinking, “Dutch Jews think Israelis are barbarians who treat the Palestinians in a brutal manner. But the Israelis think Dutch Jews are sissies. If they had lived in Germany during World War II…they would have taught those Germans a lesson. They would have turned the entire Germany into one barren field. The holocaust would have never happened. Amsterdam would have been crawling with Jews at the moment. And the embalmed body of Adolf Hitler would have been a trophy in the Jewish Historic Museum with queues as long as for the Anne Frank House.” As David later tells his father, he is offended that he treated Rowanda like untermensch scum while fawning over Rita just because she is a negress who can speak and dress properly.  Of course, little does David realize that Rita is the perfect negress for him.

 While hanging out with Rowanda’s cousin Ryan, David gets into all sorts of degeneracy, including getting in a threesome in a storage closet with a random fat black single mother with fake blonde hair while the revoltingly wanton woman’s young son looks on while licking a lollipop in his stroller (notably, the protagonist receives a blow job from the black broad). After deciding to opt out of a quasi-homoerotic orgy involving one ratchet-faced black anti-beauty, Ryan, a sleazy scrawny wigger, a towering black dude with large bitch-tits, and a violent gangster thug that seems to be suffering a perennial temper tantrum, David attempts to catch a taxi and is robbed and beaten by the gypsy driver and his equally swarthy friend for refusing to pay an absurdly inflated rate to get back to Old South. When David’s ex-girlfriend's friend Esther spots the protagonist talking to black teenage mothers at a local hospital where she works as a nurse, news get around the Jewish community that he is a depraved degenerate surreptitiously spreading his semitic seed among Amsterdam's underage Afro-Surinamese rabble. Ultimately, David’s father tells him enough is enough, kicks him out of the house, and tells him he cannot move back until he registers for college.  Indeed, David is such a loser that all he has to do to avoid sleeping in a gutter is to register for college classes that his parents will gladly pay for, but he is just too damn stupid and lazy to accomplish such a simple feat.  After attempting to get back with Rowanda and nearly having his cock cut off by her and her two brothers in what would have surely been a less than kosher second circumcision, David becomes desperate and attempts to get back with his Jewish princess Naomi, but when he walks in her room he finds his Jewish best friend performing cunnilingus on her kosher cunt, thus confirming Ryan's belief that eating pussy is for bitches. After hitting rock bottom, David is forced to take a lowly job at KFC which he rather enjoys since he constantly gets to see big black booties since it is a fried chicken fast-food joint and all. While working one day, David bumps into his dad’s black intern Rita and the protagonist is shocked to see that she is dressed just like Rowanda and even sports a similar gold necklace with the name “Sherida” on it. As the young black professional explains, Sherida is her real name and “Rita” is her “Dutch” name that she used to help land her a job. When Rita leaves, David is quite enthralled to find that the dark diva has written her phone number on a napkin for him. In the end, negrophiliac Jew David gets both brains and booty, thus confirming that sometimes ‘love conquers all,’ even when between a tiny Israelite and a negress twice his size. 

 Ironically, despite the almost unanimous agreement among the Dutch media that the film was racist, Only Decent People was not only a huge hit in the Netherlands, but also in Suriname where it was completely sold out the first week after its premiere, thus indicating that the average lumpenprole negro probably prefers seeing their race presented as a bunch of pimps and hoes rather than in the sort of phony way Hollywood depicts blacks, as if every negro child has the potential to be a Nobel Peace Prize winner or rocket scientist. Personally, I found the film to be an exceedingly grotesque experience that transcended the average Japanese Pinku eiga in terms of vulgarity and human depravity, as a sort of all-too-flashy Dutch equivalent to a Todd Solondz movie, albeit nowhere near as cleverly and brilliantly depraved in the sort of idiosyncratic autistic-neurotic Hebraic way that the Welcome to the Dollhouse (1995) director is best known for. Indeed, had director Lodewijk Crijns exercised the sort of debauched ‘subtly’ that Solondz has demonstrated with his works, he probably would not have received such a public outcry from Only Decent People, but then again the film probably would not have been such a great commercial success as the scandal it caused certainly lured the lemmings to the theaters.  Certainly, I have no doubt in my mind that Crijns' film would be a huge hit in the United States if it were remade in English, as it is not only tasteless enough to appease the American filmgoer, but also features a more honest look at race that most yanks would love to see but are denied by Hebraic agitpropandists in Hollywood who thrive on mocking whites whilst basking in their own Jewishness (after all, who has ever seen a Seth Rogen or Jonah Hill flick were they don't incessantly allude to their horrid Hebraicness?!). While I respect the fact that Crijns’ film unequivocally demonstrates that foreigners, including rich Jews that have been there for hundreds of years, have no true loyalty to the Netherlands and resent indigenous white Dutch people, Only Decent People reeks of MTV anti-aesthetic retardation of the ADD oriented sort and thus should be watched with caution lest the viewer contract spiritual syphilis. Ultimately, the film is a sort of satirical take on the age-old phrase ‘Once you go black, you never go back,’ which, depending on the viewer, obviously can be interpreted in many different ways. Indeed, my girlfriend and I interpreted Only Decent People as a sort of warped cautionary tale, though I would be lying if I did not admit that I find the idea of a romance between a turd-sized Jew-boy and gigantic ghetto fabulous negress to be an innately hilarious prospect that would surely sire superlatively racially schizophrenic progeny as the life of black-Jewish white nationalist terrorist Leo Felton attests to.

-Ty E