Doghouse

 

For far too long has the genre of undead been weighed down by the nearsightedness of an aspiring director. The man responsible for the newest Pumpkinhead debacle, Jake West, topples the main convention of a blind toxin and instead allows for all the infected to be exclusively female. This proves to be the only charm within Doghouse, save for several amusing quotes that shy away from crossing over into full court misogyny. Starring Stephen Graham (Snatch) and Danny Dyer (Severance), this British "zom-com" serves a simple synopsis for the creativity of female objectivity. Vince is a down-on-his-luck divorcé whose friends organize a brotherly trip to the town of Moodley, rumored that women outnumber men 5 to 1. Upon arriving to find the town in ghostly shambles, the oblivious factor turns the knob to 11 as the men stumble and cavort beside severed appendages and blood splatter without realizing the dread. This leads to the emasculating situation of braindead wenches slowly killing off the tight-knit band of brothers. Though, without the movie magic glaze I slathered the synopsis over, that sheen of enjoyable horror would barely exist.

Aside from being plagued by flat characters and situational angst, Doghouse's flailing point is when the gaping plot holes swallow what was left of the experience whole. Introduced early on in a subtle, propagandized flyers, Meg Nut was the local politician who is apparently a puppet in the scheme of biological weaponry. After her disconnecting and frying of their hijacked circuitry, she disappears along with the mysterious origins of the disease, never to be brought up again. Doghouse does have instances of entertainment, especially in the gents' montage of overwrought women in the opening. Only having Neil's encounter justifiable, the ball-and-chains are tucked away for this weekend as displayed with intertwining scenes of each males shedding of female manipulation as they boil to psychotic proportions. To be fair, Doghouse didn't fall into place as I expected it to. The puzzling escapades of these characters surpassed modern conventions of instinctual evolution. You'll notice that our leads never really adapt to their settings and remain as dimwitted as they opened with. However, with Vince's midlife crisis monologue near the end of the film, that shifts temporarily. But as any blank chav would, fall right back into the grand schematic of error.

Doghouse is all too simple, all too naive, and also happens to be a misnomer. The Doghouse tag was fit to designate the contradictory contagion code of Cathouse but the males never quite have a grasp on the unworldly situation they've been ensnared in. Efforts are made on their part to stencil depth, such as the frequent usage of an iPod loaded with stress-relieving motivational speakers or a character too late and his comically unlucky day shown in "Meanwhile..." sketches. Ill-equipped and unworthy of most domestic televisions and certainly any theatrical screens, Doghouse is an experiment in mediocrity that drowns before it can even lift off. The gross-out gags never transcend into asinine but all the while you feel as each quip becomes more painful than the last. Again, the only saving grace Doghouse utilizes is the unhampered negativity towards the callous remove of generalized females. Despite best efforts, Doghouse is just another film that should remain leashed and the inclusion of the cliche Evil Dead geek didn't help this useless "tribute" to horror.

-mAQ