Thursday, October 9, 2008

Return to Sleepaway Camp


How could I not drool at the news of a planned Sleepaway Camp sequel? Especially after how disturbing the ending to the original was. The long awaited sequel is finally released and my prying eyes are craving for more inspired camp slashers. How do you think I took it when Robert Hiltzik slapped me in the face with his film? I almost teared up a tiny bit. And to think Isaac Hayes' (Bless your soul) last film was this trife piece of shit. Return to Sleepaway Camp is the most uninspired sequel I've seen. What makes this more of a supreme let-down is the fact that popular horror sites are calling it the film to end all horror films. That might be a little out of context but they might as well had said it.



The film opens up with a character named Alan. He is a bit of a retard and the film uses this as not a plot for sympathy but a tool to make you hate this character, at least I did. Alan is a sniveling little shit full of inane Pre-school insults. His constant bullying has acquired him to be bullied thus sparking a voracious food chain of Big-medium-small. The arsenal of dialogue Alan carries is retarded, plain and simple. I'd hate to use such a generic description, but I do mean "retarded" in the most offensive way possible. After Alan more-or-less calls people doo-doo heads, the killings begin.


Several of the cast members are rejoining the story from the previous films after a long hiatus. Hibernation is a deadly force to reckon with. This sequel appears to disregard the two middle films and just initiates what Hiltzik believes are clever kills. Clever being filling someones stomach with gasoline and lighting them on fire. Or giving someone a deep-fryer swirlie. The lot of these kills can be found in any Friday the 13th continuation. Completely devoid of imagination.

As opposed to a Listening copy. Smart move, Mr. Hiltzik

During research of the film, I discovered an iMDB thread of a certain poster claiming this to be the best movie ever; a "masterpiece". With a bit of free time, I viewed the profile and found this to be said users only post to the defunct account. This is a similar tactic used by independent horror film directors to promote their film by creating a counterfeit opinion. Return to Sleepaway Camp is a travesty of horror. It struggles to capture that 80s pathos. The only thing Hiltzik managed to create with this unnecessary sequel was a visual surgery on the senses. Robert Hiltzik, I have a message for you. "Your ass stinks."


-mAQ

3 comments:

  1. Sleepaway Camp II and III blew this crap out of the water.

    Also if you pick up the box set you get a 4th dvd with parts of the original start of the 4th Sleepaway Camp,which are pretty cool..cooler than this movie thats for sure.

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  2. I had the box set. Just recently started looking for it.
    I wonder where it went?

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  3. Wow man, to be honest this is the first I have heard of Return to Sleepaway Camp. I have the box set and was awaiting part 4.

    This sounds quite disappointing. But this is to be expected, I suppose. Directors just can't seem to capture the spirit of the 80's anymore and it is truly sad...

    Nevertheless, I will have to check this one out just for the hell of it.

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