Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans

No better place for an American Bad Lieutenant to be committing crimes and smashing skulls then New Orleans. Not only does this Bad Lieutenant lurk in the shadows of America’s wet bastard little France, but he stalks post-Hurricane Katrina New Orleans, right after god flushed his bowels for the benefit of humanity. Despite the toilet being flushed, it seems that New Orleans still has a bunch of Creole turds floating around. The Bad Lieutenant in Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans is investigating the execution-style murder of a poor Senagalese Negro family who seem to have gotten caught up in heroin sales. This is pure luck for the Bad Lieutenant, for he loves nothing more than drugs, especially cocaine and heroin.

Nicholas Cage is my kind of cop, a little bit deranged but more importantly he is fucking hilarious. Anyone who has had to wait for a prescription at a pharmacy can get a tad annoyed by the slowness and unwarranted arrogance of the pharmacists. Luckily, a Bad Lieutenant played by an extra anxiety-filled Nicholas Cage has zero-tolerance for waiting for his Vicodin and takes action by going behind the counter with his extra big handgun. If this country had more cops that did what was needed to be done like the Bad Lieutenant, the streets would at least be a little cleaner. Unfortunately, one of the Bad Lieutenant’s co-worker cops is played by a very sloppy and disheveled Val Kilmer. I believe that Mr. Kilmer can no longer pass for Jim Morrison.

Apparently, Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans is not a remake nor is it a sequel to Abel Ferrara’s Bad Lieutenant. It is obvious however that Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans takes more than a couple cues from the original Bad Lieutenant. Mr. Ferrara did not take too kindly to the idea that someone was making a film similar to his own and stated: "As far as remakes go, ... I wish these people die in Hell. I hope they're all in the same streetcar, and it blows up." In his kind Bavarian heart, legendary auteur Werner Herzog and Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans director made the gentlemanly response: "I would like to meet the man," and "I have a feeling that if we met and talked, over a bottle of whisky, I should add, I think we could straighten everything out." Personally, I would not mind attending the whisky talk between the two legendary auteurs if the talk were to actually occur.

Mr. Cage and Mr. Herzog

With Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans, Werner Herzog once again proves he can do “Hollywood” if need be. Although for the most part in standard Hollywood cop film form, Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans features a couple Herzog-esque shots such as a shot from the perspective of a real live alligator staring at a fellow alligator who has become roadkill. I also enjoyed a scene involving a group of mafia-wops that get blasted away by a bunch of fancy crack-dealing Negroes. After killing all the woparellis, the Bad Lieutenant hallucinates seeing the soul of one of the mafia men break dancing, a scene surreal in a manner that only Werner Herzog could successfully execute.

After seeing Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans, I wouldn’t mind seeing additional Bad Lieutenant films made. In fact, it might be interesting to see a Bad Lieutenant Television series, as long as it is put in the hands of the right people. Of course, like the first two Bad Lieutenant films, any new films in the unofficial series should be directed by a fellow unique and true auteur. Harmony Korine could direct Bad Lieutenant: Tennessee Trailer Town and Vincent Gallo could direct Bad Lieutenant: Buffalo New York Ripper, for these films would be some of the best cops films ever directed, keeping in trend with the two earlier Bad Lieutenant films.

-Ty E