The Mothman Prophecies

Terror is an intimate subject. Many things can horrify someone; It's all dependent on one's personal fears and experiences. As i walk past the theater where Prom Night is being shown and hear the chorus of pre-teen girls screaming, I question modern horrors respect for the very feeling that gave birth to the genre.


The Mothman Prophecies is a film that stands on it's own. While it is a modern work that slightly butchers the source material (John Keel; The Mothman Prophecies) I find this film to be in a league of its own. It was strong 10 years ago, and its still strong now. In fact, the film hasn't lost any of it's emotional impact. When i first saw this film, I was horrified. The levels of sound and the depth of the perception that is in every frame is astounding. If anything, this film should be hailed as a masterpiece of sound editing.

After my initial viewing, i scoured the Internet searching for the stories that this film was based on. After finding a site, I began to read hundreds of case files, making notes of everything of interest. As i began to de-socialize from the real world, I Myself, became lost into this myth of a moth creature. The stories scared me more than the film because for once, I believed. After this, I went into a Cryptzoology stint.

In West Virginia during the 60's, a Moth creature terrified the local populace. Many people began to create conspiracy theories and dig up of Indian curses put on the town. The fact is that these hard-working church-going people saw something otherworldly. It was also seen on the Silver Bridge during its collapse.


Several scenes will terrify you, no matter who you are. The several with the enigma Indrid Cold and the camera trick mirror scene are just a few of the more memorable ones. The music is a mixture of ambiance and weird clicks & whistles synced with orchestral music. The boldest move of this film, is to not show the Mothman in the flesh. Due to various reports, nobody can have a true depiction of the creature. Science may debunk the creature, but things aren't always that simple.

This film manages to embrace every thought of the unknown in such an abstract way that it presents itself as unsurpassed. The Mothman Prophecies is like an amazingly terrifying episode of The X-Files, but without the character development and sexual tension. After seeing this film, I desired nothing more than to visit Point Pleasant for myself and hope for a sighting. I for one, believe in the Mothman, more than i believe in most things.

-mAQ

Postmodern Techniques in the Friedberg and Seltzer Films

The team of Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer should be a force to be reckoned with, perhaps as the most corrosive duo in all 21^st century art. Their three films Date Movie, Epic Movie, and Meet the Spartans have each drawn in over double their respective budgets, and the latter two debuted as the #1 film in the United States. All three of these films have been critically panned, and Date Movie has the highest rating of 6% on RottenTomatoes.com. This might seem perplexing to one unfamiliar with the technique behind these movies, or for that matter, the nature of all of contemporary culture, but to those of us predisposed to the awful truths of 21^st century America, it is quite obvious that Friedberg and Seltzer are masters of their craft. They are, in fact, the harbingers of true genuine postmodern film and the cryptic intellectual artisans ready to contribute bringing all culture to its knees through strictly postmodernist action.

For those who may not know, these three movies are “spoof films” that carry their weight entirely on gross-out gags, minor T&A, and references to other contemporaneous films, television shows, popular news items, popular catch phrases, and even popular advertisements. I feel it is important to at least provide some background information to help explain the nature of this strictly technical phenomenon. In an increasingly technological society, the role of art inevitably diminishes into a means to encourage mindless consumption and servant-like passiveness until it eventually disappears entirely. This is not controlled by humans in a concrete sense, but rather, the techniques necessary to sustain such a society. People need to be burdened with constant distractions in order to ensure a distinct conformity with which to properly operate in the technological society. Whereas technology allowed a certain breathing room for art to have spiritual and philosophical depth at one point, the tightening of circumstance has forced art to become a product of its increasingly technicized culture by being more technicized itself. Moreover, this technicization of art is not new, nor is it a radical shift, but part of a long ongoing process. Consider modernism, for example. As Jacques Ellul explains,

modern art expresses the subconscious precisely to the degree that the subconscious has been influenced by the machine. The artist is in fact a seismograph that records the fluctuations of man and society. The cubist and abstract schools of art (as, in poetry, dadaism and oneirism) are aspects of this deep reality. With very different forms, Chiciro, Leger, and Marcel Duchamp, sometimes consciously and sometimes unconsciously, show us the coupling of machine and person. They show too the absurdity of the mechanical world, however rational it may be, and the impossibility of an aesthetic based on the technical movement unless it is an aesthetic of madness.

Given that Ellul wrote this in 1964 and had no way to predict the oncoming vicissitudes for art forms, it is thus my own belief that postmodernism represents that aesthetic of madness that Ellul describes. All of the prerequisites for postmodern cinema are met in these three Friedberg and Seltzer films. They constantly reference (not necessarily condemn or salute, but merely reference) cultural items, giving weight to the postmodern belief that all possible ideas have been expressed and thus can only be archetypically represented in one form or another in any new medium. They show reflexivity and self-awareness, playing with the conventions of the film medium itself, and therefore questioning the very foundations of reality through metaphysics in the way postmodernists often do. The plot of these films will irrationally jump around between time and space, enabling a reference point from any corner of the world or time in history to surface, reinforcing the postmodern belief that all things are connected somehow and in some way. But most importantly, these films bring absolutely nothing new to the table and provide literally no valuable insights on anything at all whatsoever. Their purpose would be more comparable to the utilitarian art of the Soviet Union than any art meant to express human spirit or creativity. In my opinion, that is perhaps the most postmodern element to these films above all else.

Think, for example, of how classical music began to be composed in the 20^th century. It started to become designed by technique, as cold and sterile as machinery itself. Pieces of music began to be composed through computerized Markov chains or through merely the rolling of dice. Although the production of this art was technicized and impersonal, the message could be interpreted in a number of ways, and often the interpretation would prove meaningful to life and the human condition. The Friedberg and Seltzer duo, in a true act of postmodernism, are able to take the creation of art through technique and strip it bare of all provocations. The purpose of the film, to make a lot of money, is obvious, and moreover, it becomes obvious entirely because of the technique in which it is made. Around the end of the year, before the Oscars come on television, people begin to consider the best films of that year. Beyond this, they begin to question the best anything of the year – music, TV shows, advertisements, whatever – and so a demand arises for a recap of some sort to summarize the year in pop culture. The brilliance of these manufactured spoof films has nothing to do with their writing or production values, but within the fact that they specifically market the technique of spoofing movies itself. Date Movie stays largely contemporaneous, but the very title gives away the fact that it seeks to parody romance comedy films. Nobody cares about date movies enough to really watch a spoof on it, but the fact that a movie is coming out with such perfect timing, promising to be rife with pop culture references is reason enough to go spend $8 or $9 on it. And as it indirectly promises through advertising, it offers many references to pop culture items of the past year.

In this regard, Meet the Spartans represents the ultimate in perfection of this technique. It strips away a genre-specific title, pinpoints only one major film (in this case 300), and uses that film as a vehicle to insert whatever miscellaneous debris is deemed necessary and important. In addition to the newfound elasticity of this concept, it also invokes the spirit of old novelty records that used to focus on one particular film and “comment” on it by throwing in sound bytes of contemporaneous pop songs interspersed along a largely pointless narration. These novelty records were never meant to be particularly intelligent, nor were they meant to satirize one genre or film in particular. In all three movies, techniques from those records are employed. The Friedberg and Seltzer team manage to make their films combine an irrational story element with song and dance sequences featuring musical content reminiscent of the Now! CD compilations. The major difference between those old novelty records and these films is that the novelty records in question would only make pop culture allusions, but these films more analytically allude to the techniques behind these products of pop culture. Because of this, the novelty records would only appeal to 8-12 year olds then, whereas these films are marketed toward teenagers and young adults now. Any child would enjoy these Friedberg and Seltzer movies despite the grotesque humor and degradation of women, and another technical triumph of Meet the Spartans is its PG-13 rating as opposed to the previous films’ R ratings. Children will learn to enjoy just about anything, but the fact that more mature people are enjoying this indicates a growing understanding of the basic framework that makes up film itself. The more man knows, the easier it is to manipulate him. As soon as man learns to read, he can be manipulated through writing. As soon as man understands percentages, he can be manipulated through statistics. And most importantly for Friedberg and Seltzer, as soon as man understands the conventions of film, he can be manipulated by the subversion of these conventions. The latter tactic simply molests the mind of man with no real attainable goal other than pure sterile calculation. Once man begins to think with a more technically-oriented point of view, morality, spirituality, and artistry become less and less relevant.

This subversion is exactly what people are looking to get when they buy the tickets for these films. Since people are not really looking for parodies of “date” or “epic” films specifically, it can only be deduced that they are looking for the technique of subversion to be shown to them in addition to simply being reminded of the products’ existence in the first place. As long as the pop culture item is still fresh in the people’s minds, the technique of subverting pre-existing techniques will suffice with no other added content. It is safe to say that this has already been popularized by TV shows like Robot Chicken and Family Guy as well as other spoof movies of the past. This sort of subversive nihilism is what people are looking for, and so by keeping all possibilities open tied around one theme, Meet the Spartans accomplishes this nihilism the most effectively of all three films. At one point in the Stone and Parker movie Team America: World Police, a song is featured set to a montage sequence explaining what a montage is and how it is used. The intent of the joke is to say that people are already familiar with montages, so the filmmakers are therefore hip enough to see the silliness of this convention. Meet the Spartans represents a full-length film adaptation of this joke in many respects. The apex of this principle occurs when a member of the Spartan army carries around a large green screen showing that this particular technological item allows for the illusion that there is a much larger army, when in reality it is mere computer wizardry that does the trick. The joke is so telling that it is actually used twice. And, of course, throughout the entire movie itself, the backdrops of each set are created through the use of green screens.

In addition to the thematic open-endedness in which Meet the Spartans presents itself, it also is superior to the other two because of its efficiency as a film. Supposedly it was created on a budget of $30 million, but I don’t believe this for one second. Whereas Date Movie and Epic Movie (which both cost $20 million) feature a multitude of different on-location sets, costume arrangements, and special effects, Meet the Spartans is stripped down and bland. The special effects are largely nowhere to be found and the sets are all pretty much the same. If it really did cost $30 million, the difference would most likely be in marketing. Meet the Spartans also claims to be an 84-minute film, which is not true. It is actually around 64 minutes, but the ending credits roll so slowly, that they clearly are part of a technique to artificially bloat up the running time. This technique is used to a lesser extent in Date Movie and Epic Movie, but the credits are only a mere ten minutes in those films as opposed to the audacious twenty in Meet the Spartans. Also worth noting is the much more intense use of product placement in the third film, whereas the first two use it sparsely. Popular commercials are mocked in all three films, but the first two often refrain from having the actual product being used during this mockery. Meet the Spartans does have some commercial spoofs with the product absent, but it compensates by throwing in a fair amount of other products at other points in the film. This idea is largely absent from its two predecessors. It also represents a technical subversion of conventions as previously noted: the products are advertised so blatantly that the film makes it appear as if it is trying to communicate that product placement in films can be silly and obvious. Nevertheless, this technique is still being employed.

My initial goal was to watch all three of these films in one sitting, but it proved too aggravating of an experience. I had to wait a week before watching Meet the Spartans. It is perhaps not enough to explain the difficulty of this project by saying what the films were about, because they weren’t really about anything, or what they consisted of, which was essentially nothing, and I was anticipating all of this quite readily. What blindsighted me personally was how extraordinarily hateful toward the audience these films were within the realms of their own reflexivity and self-awareness. The key is to understand that although many popular culture items and techniques are “spoofed,” they are at once simultaneously condoned. Nothing about the jokes (in what presents itself as a satire) are really critical of the status quo, but more at the audience for partaking in it. Once the films start to show their own cynicisms, the real butt of all of these jokes proves to be the viewer. Take, for example, the preponderance of gross-out gags in all three of these films. It was not out of intellectual laziness that the writers decided to rely on them – many of them had no deliberate comedic value that I could discern in the first place. So why use them at all? Imagine any seemingly vile scenario, and more than likely it can be found in these films. A woman projectile vomits on many people at a party. A hump growing on Paris Hilton is revealed to be a purulent growth, which is popped. A nude shapeshifting woman on top of someone grows a unibrow and about a hundred pounds heavier at his request. A woman pops a particularly large pimple. A man eats raw sewage believing it to be a river of chocolate. A cat sits on a toilet and makes loud shitting sounds. A heavy woman slurps her own liposuctioned fat through a tube coming from a large vat labeled ‘mayonnaise.’ At first, these occurrences seem cryptic and inexplicable, but after a while, their existence seems to prove the efficiency of the aforementioned techniques. Since a large part of the appeal for the audience is recognizing the target of reference, these grotesque elements to the film seem to serve as a sadomasochistic test of faith. If the viewer can sit through a completely disgusting scene, he will feel more psychologically rewarded when he is able to recognize Paris Hilton holding her Maltese dog and talking on her cell phone. The best part is that if he is not able somehow to catch the reference, then typically the reference will be openly said out loud so as to eliminate any confusion. This element of psychological difficulty thus makes each of these films very “challenging” for the viewer, resulting in feelings of accomplishment and fulfillment after they end.

If anything, the elements of gross-out humor prove that if the technique of subverting other techniques had not been pre-popularized by other films and media, these films simply never would have worked. If a film, for example, with an identical structure and 50’s pop culture references had come out in the 1950’s, it would have failed, and the reason is because people’s brains would not have been sufficiently prepared for the acquiescence of technical sterility necessary to derive appreciation from these pseudofilms today. Even without the scatological elements, the conventions of TV Westerns and successful commercials would not be fully grasped by the American public, and so they would merely prove confusing to the average viewer when pointed out or alluded to. It would actually take a fairly advanced person to understand what is happening. But this is not the 1950’s and we as filmgoers are now privy to pop culture conventions and understand the techniques behind these films and television shows. Never let it be said that as soon as we understand the workings of the media, it automatically will leave us more enlightened and critical. Friedberg and Seltzer prove that this understanding can actually prime us to be less conscious of reality and more easily distracted. That is essentially what postmodernism is all about. Even with a more cohesive plot structure, genuine wit, and popularity from previous films, Mel Brooks’s Spaceballs only raked in around one third of the amount that Meet the Spartans was able to in the opening weekend and considerably less in total box office. The reason is because even as recently as the 1980’s, postmodernism did not have the relevance it does today. As information becomes decentralized and the secrets to techniques become disseminated, art simply loses its meaning.

It would be folly to dismiss these asinine parody films as mere anomalies. Every single one is very much ahead of its time, and the innovations of Friedberg and Seltzer as pioneered in Meet the Spartans hit the bullseye on a target so distant from our understanding that people don’t even know it’s there. The lack of positive reviews do not really matter, because as history has shown, people’s opinions can be easily molded by sheer repetition anyhow. As Sylvester Graham points out in his manifesto A Treatise on Bread and Breadmaking from 1894, assembly-line produced white bread was initially met with negative response, but the negativity certainly didn’t last very long. The sheer repetition and constant technical reproduction eventually led people to prefer this nutrient-deficient, bland, tasteless bread as opposed to naturally-grown bread with fiber, whole grain, complex carbohydrates, and a hearty taste with character to it. Right now, the only positive review for Meet the Spartans on RottenTomatoes.com (which makes up its 2% positive rating) comes from some woman from an obscure website called “News Blaze” who says, “Don't expect anything of depth and you won't be disappointed by this predigested pabulum. Mental bubblegum for the brain whose cinematic taste lasts only about as long as the viewing.” Given the low costs, high profits, and intellectual laziness it takes to pump out these films, it is safe to say that this woman represents the critical voice of the future. But what will the future hold for us when art begins to seep further and further into the nihilistic realms of meta-narrative? When the people have been so narcotized as to believe that any idea can be characterized by sheer archetype, what will this say of us? What will we have to judge ourselves by when the only art we can produce will be in the innovations of scientific applications and mathematical equations? Would we even be human, or the product of some far-reaching abstraction? If there really is salvation to be found in the possibilities of some sort of technological utopia, then do you really want to be saved?

-Blind Lame OKB

Hitler's Jewish Soldiers

Hitler’s Jewish Soldiers is a documentary based on a book of the same name. The film (or digital video) features a variety of interviews with a variety of Germans of Jewish descent who fought for Germany in World War II. These men were classified as Mischling by the German government. Over 150,000 men of Jewish descent fought in Hitler's army (compare that to the 600,000 full Jews who lived in Germany before Hitler's rise to power). Germans that had two Jewish Grandparents were considered Mischling in the first degree and those with one Jewish grandparent were labeled Mischling in the second degree.

Virtually all Mischling were Roman Catholic as the majority of Jews that converted to Christianity decided the pope was their fuehrer of choice. The majority of ethnic Germans were of the Protestant faith (obviously). The fact that the majority of Jewish to Christian converts were Roman Catholics is interesting as virtually all of the main Nazi leaders (including Adolf Hitler) came from Roman Catholic backgrounds. The faith of many international crypto-Jews such as the Spanish Sephardic Marrano’s also decided to outwardly practice Roman Catholicism (although practicing Judaism in secret).

1/2 Jewish Aryan poster boy Werner Goldberg

1/2 Jew Horst Geitner was awarded both the Iron Cross Second Class and the Silver Wound Badge

Hitler’s Jewish Soldiers features interviews with various elderly Mischling and their own experiences with being Jews in Hitler’s Army. Many of these individuals still consider themselves Jewish today. One of these men has even become a Zionist extremist who spouts the Jewish hate slur Goyim (meaning cattle in reference to all gentiles). None of these men seem reluctant in telling their own stories and experiences in the German Wehrmacht. The documentary also takes a look at German generals and other prominent military leaders of Jewish descent. German field Marshall Erhard Milch (who was half Jewish) is even exposed as someone that used Jewish slave labor.

Of course, you can expect a very politically correct angle taken in Hitler’s Jewish Soldiers as not to offend certain individuals. The documentary even mentions how Hitler would have probably killed all the Mischling after the war if Germany had won the war, although the film offers no evidence to back up those claims. This would be highly unlikely as many people in the German government and military with prominent positions were of Jewish descent. The fact of the matter is that Jewish and German relations in Nazi Germany were much more complicated than Steven Spielberg or Eli Wiesel would want to admit.

1/2 Jewish Nazi Field Marshal Erhard Milch

Hitler’s Jewish Soldiers has a fairly simple and almost amateur construction. The real wealth of the documentary is in it’s exceptional interviews and stories. The documentary is more of a companion piece to the book written by American military historian Bryan Mark Rigg. Do yourself a favor and dilute the propaganda you learned at the unscholarly American public school you attend. Hitler’s Jewish Soldiers is a testament to the complexity of history. There is no such thing as objective history so it’s up to the individual to do their own research and develop their own interpretations.

-Ty E

Hell Comes to Frogtown

Rowdy Roddy Piper; This name about sums up the level of seriousness in the film. This wrestler plays a character named Sam Hell. Don't be fooled, he isn't as badass as his name implies, but i didn't say he wasn't a pimp. In a world full of infertility after a nuclear attack, babies start springing up from the sexual trail Sam left behind. Forced by a government division called MedTech, Hell must journey into Frogtown to rescue female hostages and knock em' up.


Hell Comes to Frogtown takes the theme of Escape from New York, with the forced government work and the consequences for saying no. This politically-sparked maneuver fits well with the controversy of the U.S. Draft. Forced labor is rarely a good thing, nor a promising one. Hell Comes to Frogtown is laden with a comic book feel. The quirkiness of the characters allows the film to stretch and pace evenly. This is all thanks to the Howard the Duck-esque special effects.

Infertility is a nightmare that was recently explored in Children of Men. No doubt, Children of Men is the greater film and would be near perfect had the pregnant carrier been a Negro. That disgusting cast choice was a bold move as how the birth rate for Africans is huge. Multiculturalism is a tactic that most contemporary directors in the mainstream use in their arsenal.


This project was later granted a 1.5 million dollar budget and switched to 35mm. Despite having the backings of Roger Corman, the studio execs weren't ballsy enough to have nudity or gore. What makes Frogtown so much damn fun is the backfired attempt at making Rowdy Roddy Piper into a Hollywood badass. While this film did bomb, it was resurrected as a cult classic; a title it does deserve.


Frogs have never looked so slimy. They are presented with low guttural voices and a fascination for dancing white women. This individual scene has to do with a Frogman getting an erection and calls it "The Three Snakes" I can only imagine horrible images in my head so i thank god everyday that i didn't have to see that. Hell Comes to Frogtown is hilarious, ridiculous, and good-spirited. Avoid the sequels at all costs. Any sequel with Roddy Piper is trash. This film could have used some wrestling moves against Frogs though.

-mAQ

Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantánamo Bay

Disquieting racism is in every film you see now-a-days. Whether they are presenting the ignorance in a harmful light of not is the true argument. The first Harold & Kumar film focused on the drug-life rather than anything else. The film was boring with only a few scenes that could be seen as comedy, Harold & Kumar 2 took everything wrong with the first film, revamped it, and made a fucking hilarious film that doesn't argue semantics.


On a flight to Amsterdam, Harold & Kumar get mistaken for terrorists due to the color of their skin and wind up in Guantánamo Bay awaiting their first "cockmeat sandwich" They escape from the prison and are on their way to Texas to try to get help from politicians. Also, Neil Patrick Harris.


If Harold & Kumar 2 did one thing right, it would be the clever marketing of the iconic Patrick Harris. The fact that so many idols of B-films get a mascot job of sorts, or even headliners for more shitty films, such as Casper Van Dien from Starship Troopers or Bruce Campbell from Evil Dead. The teaser poster showing Neil on a unicorn with the words "What would NPH Do?" is only a taste of the ridiculous antics to come.

The film is a satire of child actors, fashion trends, and racial stereotypes. These are explained briefly in scenes that are the highlights of the movie. One scene involves a Department of Homeland Security agent trying to get questions out of a Negro commuter. He decides that the only way to get him to talk, would be to open a can of Grape Soda and pour it out. This Negro orthodontist is horrified by the white man's ignorance and the only thing that can be heard it the neighbors screaming "That's racist!"

(Jew's never stray far from their coins)

A similar scene is also present, involving 2 Jew-clowns in an interrogation room. You might remember Goldstein from the first film. Well, this time his role is small and the majority of his screen time you see him collecting gold coins. Roger Bart plays the Jewish intellectual who constantly downplays the head agent's intelligence and opposes him. He's the only one that can see that these two boys are innocent.

President George W. Bush even makes an appearance in the film that leads to huge laughs as he calls his father and tells him "Fuck you!" This scene alone grants it a film that embraces it's political incorrectness and displays scenes of southern inbreds, KKK members, and jokes against all races. I personally promise you this is a vast improvement over the sloth-comedy that was present in the original. Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantánamo Bay is like Euro-Trip, except it doesn't suck. Stick around after the credits.

-mAQ

Chocolate

From the action genius Prachya Pinkaew who created many action films in Thailand and recently broke out and tapped the Western market with films such as Ong Bak: The Thai Warrior and The Protector comes his newest film. After a fallout with fellow actor Tony Jaa over disputes over directing Ong Bak 2, he decided to raise a new Muay Thai machine. With this he provides an even greater twist; it's a girl.

A member of the Yakuza elopes with a traitor and creates an autistic offspring. Like most autistic children, this one is a tad bit special. Upon growing up, she finds an uncanny love in three things; her mommy, chocolate, and martial arts films. While watching these films, her brain develops and allows her to memorize every single move, turning her into an unstoppable killing machine.


Bone-crunching scene after bone-crunching scene, our female star crushes every opponent. Her skills are unmatched in terms of combat. Being a female, she is naturally nimble which allows her a lot more flexibility than predecessor Tony Jaa. Pinkaew doesn't scorn the idea of keeping his inspirations intact, which allows for some of the characters viewing pleasure to be The Protector and Ong Bak. So while she is jumping around she makes note to even imitate Bruce Lee's "Hwaa!" The choreography at hand, is simply stunning. Many injuries occurred on set and were even welded into the film which gives it that realist aspect.

Like most of Pinkaew's films, the stories are ridiculous, over-the-top, and a bit flat. It seems that Pinkaew is doomed to suffer the same fate as many action directors; too much of a good thing bogged down with a deadpan storyline. In regards to the plot, it isn't the characters, it's the events. A mother who is stricken ill and whose autistic daughter goes to collect money from past debts only to get entangled in the mafia doesn't really scream autuer work. Pinkaew's older Thai films had a lot more spirit.

Chocolate in a nutshell is The Protector adopting Mercury Rising. The autistic elements are driven well in the story line. The lead character is cute, dangerous, and extremely terrified of flies, which gives her this existing innocence. This film does lack the gold that Bruce Willis endows with each film that he graces his presence with. Chocolate is indeed as sweet as it sounds. I cannot recall action as vicious as this. Imagine watching a mentally handicapped female take on the entire Yakuza. That's Chocolate.

-mAQ

Flesh

Andy Warhol’s Flesh (or more appropriately Paul Morrissey’s Flesh) is an eccentric study in male prostitute body worship. Little Joe makes a living by supporting his family selling his body to dirty old men. He has no shame in it as he has to pay the bills somehow. Little Joe is a middle school dropout with an attitude. Paul Morrissey may be an anally retentive old queen but he sure admires the lifestyle of the poor and drugged out, hence his charm as a filmmaker.

Little Joe’s wife has no problem with Joe whoring his body out for cash. She participates in sexual encounters with women to get her sexual fill. Joe and his wife also have a baby together. Joe’s obsession with laying around naked parallels that of his newborns daily activities. In one crucial scene, little Joe studies his son in awe as he crawls around on the floor. It is never too soon for a father to learn from his child.



Joe has his best conversations with his Johns. They encourage Joe to work out as they admire his body. I found it pretty depressing (although somewhat touching) that Joe’s “clients” took him more seriously than his family and close friends. Joe also makes sure to giving tips to a young hustler on how to get “dates.” He encourages “gay for pay” sexual acts. Joe has to support his drug habit (and family) somehow.

Flesh has the aesthetic of an amateur documentary film. I could only imagine Flesh in this aesthetic as anything different would take away from the raw power of the pathetic life of a hustler. Little Joe is not a glamorous individual. He can barely even make it out his apartment. Prostitution seems like the only legit reason for Joe to leave home. Flesh is mandatory viewing for all serious fans of independent cinema.

-Ty E

Prehysteria 2

Moonbeam Entertainment is that film company you remember from when you were a child. They released such classics as Josh Kirby: Time Warrior, Pet Shop, Prehysteria, and Adventures in Dinosaur City. These films are all ones that i remembered but could never find a title anywhere. Prehysteria 2 is the sequel to the original that broke rental records. The second is being helmed by Albert Band, who i will assume is Charles Band's butler. I'd like to assume this for comedic value.

In the second coming, the story ditches the original little boy who has a strange likeness to Jonathan Taylor-Thomas, and instead focuses on a rich brat who later became the wardrobe designer for The Matrix. He uses his money to purchase a crate of raisins which contains a handful of "Rock'N'Roll" dinosaurs. These mischievous dinosaurs are all named after musical artists, some more popular than the rest. There is Jagger, Madonna, Hammer, Paula, and Elvis.

("The One" on his way to Zion)

All of the characters fit the horrible stereotypes. The strict grandmother, the foreign gardener, the dad who has no time for his son, and the bumbling exterminators. Perhaps the worst stereotype of all is the token Goofy Jap. In all modern films, there lies at least one retarded Oriental. This one screams his name "Hiro!" over and over again and likes to sing really loud while preparing food. They exercise this stereotype even in modern films, like Disturbia. Even in films that embrace their own culture does evidence remain of this.


The one surprise that i never expected was to see Giuseppe Andrews in this film. Yes, lil' Joey is in this film, sporting a plaid jacket as the gang leader of a bunch of miscreants. I noticed that most ringleaders of young crime grow up to become successful actors; such as Jack Black in The Neverending Story 3, as the pseudo skinhead. I thought i had seen it all too.

(Giuseppe Andrews; 2nd from the right)

When these films premiered, they were magical and brought you into a world of fantasy. As an adult, these films are just very ridiculous. Upon my second viewing of 3 Ninjas Kick Back, i found the film to just be one of the worst films i have ever seen. It sounds unlikely that i had liked it when i was a child. Prehysteria 2 isn't as good and magical as the first, but it is still entertaining and retains some charm.

-mAQ

Hausu

Concerning Supernatural horror, my hard exterior has indeed softened up with the viewing of the Asian classics. Hausu is a dreamlike theatrical horror film ripe with goofy humor and marvelous set pieces. Hausu's plot line involves a stuck-up daughter of a successful father. Due to her mother's death, she has clung to her father and has not grown up on her own.

When he brings news of his plans to re-marry, she goes in a fit and calls up her Aunt in hopes for their class trip to take place at her house. When she gets a letter back, she rounds up her friends to go, but on the way, the teacher is prevented from going there and must await for the next day. During the stay, these naive girls who fit the mold of an Asian Mystery Inc. begin to notice weird unnatural events occurring and the mystery behind an eerie cat and a timeless melody.

Hausu has been compared to the likes of Argento and while i support this claim, I personally believe that Nobuhiko Obayashi succeeded more on a personal level. While Suspiria was an effective Giallo thriller, it lacked many aspects enough to make it a masterpiece. Hausu takes the dreamy visuals and vivid primary colors and expands on the idea of a theatrical horror film. With painted skies, Hausu might be the most beautiful films i have ever seen. It's obvious that Miike's Sukiyaki Western Django got the idea of the beginning from a viewing of Hausu.


What makes Hausu some different from any other film is the varying styles of experimentation in it. Several scenes are Green-screened over a creepy painting or a tiled texture. We have tie-dye murder scenes, hungry pianos, and a psychotic cat. In this instance, the cat isn't balck, it's white, which is a very clever change. A cat endowed with white hair will bring about the downfall of all Oriental women's futures. Many kaleidoscopic effects are used to manipulate your cornea's into hallucinating yourself. If there is such thing as a film being a psychotropic drug, this is it. Scenes are spliced over top each other and some are even played back that results in a hilarious cacophony of "remixes"

(Oddly reminds me of a Chippendale illustration)

The undertones in the film are fit for women only. There are only a couple males in the film and they are played my mutton-chopped apes and goofy retards. The emphasis on "Death to any woman who isn't married" is played out very well and is satisfying to see the genre characters die off. There's the Kung-Fu star, the glutton, the vain fashionista, the brainless photographer, and several others. The others had no memorable quirks other than doing the dishes and cleaning the floors (Misogyny?). Hausu is the most original film I ever seen and deserves the title of "Phantasmagoric" over any other film that is relatable. Despite its stern approach towards the roles of women, It is a remarkable portrait of a post-WWII Japan with fiery skies. A war-torn canvas has never been so wacky and elegant; Truly a marvelous mix.

-mAQ

The Rape After

Ever since my initial viewing of Centipede Horror, I have had a change of mind concerning ancient horror films, ones of the supernatural element that is. Ghosts and Spirits just are not my cup of tea. While i appreciate the theory of their existence, I don't believe they fare well on the silver screen. Since Centipede Horror, I have reconsidered my preconceived notion, and now with the viewing of The Rape After, I am positive that there is a frightening ghost tale.


Ma Hsien-Sheng is a photographer of models. He also has a hobby of owning religious artifacts and during one of his photo shoots, manages to steal one of a particularly nasty looking demon. When he brings it home, the church is in an uproar and he invites an upcoming model, Shu Ya, over to his house in hopes of getting lucky. After many drinks, they both vomit and pass out. During their slumber, the statue morphs into a demon goblin and rapes Shu Ya while she is sleeping.


When she awakes, she has no recollection of the night before and assumes that they had sex. Upon the news of her pregnancy, she immediately claims it as Ma's child and fearing his religious girlfriend finding out, he takes her to an abortion clinic. After a failed attempt, the demon attacks the staff and Ma runs away. Already proving how much of a coward he is in the face of imminent death, Shu Ya drops contact with him until months later. She requests to be taken to the hospital.


On the way, the emotional woman begins to hit Ma causing the car to steer off the road and flip, throwing Ma from the car. After he attempts to free her from the confines of twisted metal, the car explodes, leaving Shu Ya burning alive in the car whilst uttering a curse upon Ma. Along the ride comes zombies (Haitian style), flaming crows, gooey cannibalism, and really bad haircuts. The Rape After has all the attributes of a cheesy horror film, but something about it manages to get under your skin.


I'm saying that this film managed to unnerve me. The atmosphere present throughout this film feels like poison. The zombies and the charred corpses recall from a time where FX was labored over, not created with a huge budget. Ears ripped off and devoured, which reminds you of the scene in Dead Alive, except this scene wins the prize. I have noticed that in near every old Hong Kong horror film, they introduce a scene that features vomiting of a disgusting paste and sometimes creatures. Is this some sort of 80's craze? or just one of Asia's hidden fetishes?


As normal, this cursed man brings his problems onto a group of other people and leaves many dead in the wake. Due to the bleak outlook of the story, It is wholly depressing and misanthropic. One scene is reminiscent of Ghoulies, In which a monk goes to the bathroom and while he is relieving himself, a demon grabs him and pulls him in his own brewery for some foul scares. While the theme of the film is nihilism, we can thank the dank lighting for creating efficient moods and the sinister score for holding the suspense.

Ma is a coward, this we know, but my real problem lies with Shu Ya. It was her own fault to assume that it was his child. The entire film is about her revenge when in fact, It wasn't even his fault. Sure, he stole a demonic statue, but she didn't have to be a trifling whore. The Rape After is a film that is overlooked due to it's provocative name and a VCD classic. If you can overlook the Lifetime Women's Channel morals, then you're set for an eerie supernatural classic.

-mAQ

Trash

I have always thought that Andy Warhol was somewhat retarded. He always had the talent of “discovering” artists and financing their projects. I believe that his greatest find of sorts was his filmmaker Paul Morrissey who is often considered Warhol’s most hated collaborator. Andy Warhol’s Trash is a perfect example of why many pseudo artist hippies hate the underrated auteur.


Italian American drug addict Joe Dallesandro was the star and centerpiece of Paul Morrissey’s legendary trash trilogy. The films voyeuristically explore the slavery (both mental and physical) that resulted from sex, drugs, and Rock n’ Roll "revolution" so often found in the late 1960’s. Joe is a slave to heroin and only shows ambition when attempting to obtain his drug of choice. He supports his habitat by giving sexual favors to woman he uses for drug money. Unfortunately for him, he can’t even get his dick up to satisfy the women offering to pay for his services.

Despite looking like a hippie home video from the late 1960’s, Trash has more to stimulate the mind than all Darren Aronofsky films combined. Trash is a virtual document of white Americas decline into self destructive hedonism and mindless pleasure seeking. The “revolutionary” promoters (such as whiny agitator Abbie "Abe" Hoffman) of “liberation” movements of the late 1960’s were the children of former American (and from abroad) Communists (red diaper babies). The reality is that these scumbags subversives were bent on destroying western order and determined to get people to fall prey to their weaknesses for pleasurable vices.


The irrational babbling of a drugged out rich bitch with clown make-up acts as a great metaphor for the “revolutionary” changes that occurred during the fall of the United States. Although Joe Dallesandro is constantly zoning out during the rich bitch’s idiotic ramblings, his responses are quite adequate. This drugged out girl isn't even worth being acknowledged as a human being. To be fair, her “acting” and performance is unforgettable. The actress (her name was Andrea Feldman) later committed suicide by jumping of the 14th floor of an apartment building. A rosary and a can of coca cola was supposedly found in her hands (another metaphor?).

Trash is far from being Trash. The film is an important piece of American history and better reflects America during the 1960’s than Easy Rider ever could. American youths are still being inspired by dead hippie legends and ruining their lives getting addicted to drugs. Paul Morrissey was the best weapon America ever had in the so-called war against drugs.

-Ty E

Wrong Turn 2: Dead End

With most horror being as bland as processed cheese, It does come as a surprise to see something that would benefit the horror community. When Wrong Turn first came out in 2003, it didn't have any contemporary aspects. Nothing about this film was original. Whether you analyze the use of the backwoods as a target fear or notice the beautiful broads and gut-munching gore, the film blatantly appears bland and would never reach the emotional anxiety quota of Deliverance.


Wrong Turn 2 grasps the past-time knowledge of the greats and comes to terms with the failure of this first and attempts to fix this by adding more gore, more nudity, and more action. In order to make this work right, no doubt they'd need a hand from someone who is used to this madcap carnage. With this whim, Joe Lynch was brought in. You'd know him from Terror Firmer and nothing else. For being his first film, he has already proposed a delightful future in horror.


Some of the events and controversy are perhaps the more interesting subject. In Australia, a government officer showed a group of teenagers incarcerated for sex crimes the film Wrong Turn 2. This led into the community questioning what their tax money was being paid for and news headlines broke out, insisting that the officer be "sacked" Why you would show a film that can hardly be taken seriously on a serious note is beyond me, but i do thank the officer for a hilarious scandal.

On to the values of the film, It has a group of the clichéd characters that American cinema is known for. We have the Dyke military officer, pervert skateboarder, a football playing Negro with morals, an artfag who cuts herself, and a handful of sluts. On the subject of the Negro, it seems odd that he portrayed the character as the only pure soul on the film. The one that would rise above the foul plays of temptation and would be the most useful. His all-American name, Texas Battle, needs some explaining as well.

Dale Murphy (Sounds like a NASCAR Racer) is played by Henry Rollins. From Rollins performance as a motivational speaker in Feast, to him playing the Patriotic bad ass warrior, his demeanor in films proves that he can play anything. Actually, his role in Feast was the only proof that I needed. Last time I remember Rollins in a film, he was getting a blowjob, art style, in a Richard Kern short film depicting misogyny and grainy black & white. It's needless to say that his performance carried the film home, and without Rollins, Wrong Turn 2: Dead End would have an accurate name.


Wrong Turn 2 is a satire of sorts, using the art of sensationalism to it's own advantage, while silently mocking reality TV. Wrong Turn 2 did a much better job than Halloween: Resurrection did. Although, I did enjoy watching Busta Rhymes negro-riffic performance. Years later, that memorable scene featuring the fight between the "black knight" and the "pasty face killer" would become a hilarious inside joke between friends.

Wrong Turn 2 is a film that will be hated by some, if not most. If you manage to glance at the big picture, and absorb the great performances, mutant pregnancies, and America incarnate lighting up redneck freaks with a dynamite bow & arrow, then congratulations. I'm just as glad to love this film as you should. Vote Rollins for President.

-mAQ

A Quinta Dimensão do Sexo

José Mojica Marins is not the first master of horror to descend (or rather, ascend) into the underbelly of the pornographic world. Just like Joe D'Amato, Marins has created masterpieces and among them, there is smut. A Quinta Dimensão do Sexo (Fifth Dimension of Sex) is a bold new direction for the beloved director of films that exist on a plane of existence beyond genres.


Fifth Dimension of Sex involves two chemistry students (who i will dub Gomez and Pedro.) These two students are having trouble with women. Using the gifts of science and research, they create a serum that causes them to become crazed rapists. This plot seems very close to El Violador Infernal; a film that concerns a sleazy Mexican as he rapes men & women alike to please Satan.

If the Fifth Dimension of Sex had to be recognized for one thing, it would be an appearance by Zé do Caixão. Coffin Joe is the world's foremost Boogeyman. I cannot think of any single man, creature, or entity as sinister and intelligent as the Joe of the Coffin. This is the first hardcore sex film Marins has filmed. The following grotesque sexual horrors he filmed are 24 Hours of Explicit Sex and 48 Hours of Hallucinatory Sex.

The very fact that this film is a pornographic video is enough to drive anyone either away or draw them in. Mostly, drawing them into this film in search of something "hot." This will never be the case. Marins captures the very lustful aura around sex on camera. The rarity of this happening can be compared to capturing a specter on film. The very ways he captures the eyes and expressions in mid-coitus is something of an animalistic majesty.


The fact that this is a very dated and obscure piece of smut doesn't make it easy to come by. Marins shouldn't hide from his XXX background and embrace it. If he were still making material like this, he could grab perverts and arthouse fans at the same time. Tapping in different markets could be very profitable and lead to more Zé do Caixão films. When Awakening of the Beast was made, the Military Regime had it banned for nearly 20 years. Something like that makes me wonder about their reaction to his adult films.

This film doesn't have the normal uncompromising positions of it's time period. Instead, we have urination and penetration with a giant artificial penis which in turn rips her open. Perhaps the most bizarre aspect of this film, even more bizarre than the idea of a Coffin Joe porn, is its subversive homosexual undertones. As soon as these raving sex fiends begin to cool off, they reveal a slight queer side to them, leading to the first homosexual kiss on Brazilian cinema. The same goes the first inter-species erotica scene in 24 Hours of Explicit Sex.

José Mojica Marins invented horror. No timeline or piece of cinema literature will convince me otherwise. He invented the abstract homo-surrealism. Nobody may have seen it, but it lies within his mind. Coffin Joe is a brand you can trust.

-mAQ

Craig

Films that are abrasive to the retina's are to come by. We have Gary Oldman's debut, Nil By Mouth, which is as explosive and corrosive as you'd be led to believe by looking at some of his roles. Just as a great actor released a brutal film that never compromises quality, Kim Sønderholm has done the same. Craig is a film chronicling the spiral descent of a man who is very much like many of us.


Craig's parents were killed in a house fire that left his sister comatose. Unable to cope with the weight of the world, people begin to abuse Craig's kindness till he falls into withdrawal madness. Craig is relatable to most. Being frequently cast out of society, women use every attempt to walk all over him which leads to much sexual frustration and confusion.

Craig is a film that surprises, scene after scene. Craig rises above the norms of a drama and incorporates surrealism, black humor, and chronic drug use & addiction. Every film now-a-day's has a cameo from Lloyd Kaufman, and Craig makes good use of the goofy Jew by using him as his subconscious weatherman. A distinguishable feature in Craig is the shared emotions. These horrible things committed to Craig, only drive you into fits of panic and frustration. Our anti-hero Craig, can be noted as a socially inept version of the Butcher from I Stand Alone, except for the vulgarity.


Craig could be seen as misogynistic, due to it's blatant attacks on women. This would be a preconceived notion upon reading the summary, but if you look at "the big picture", It's used in a poetic context. On a technical note, Craig features wonderful cinematography that is occasionally disrupted with an increasingly edited drug binge scene. The score is a pulsing beat that takes on it's own flesh form and the soundtrack is enough to make any industrial fan or foreign metal fan squeal. The soundtrack resonates youth, which is something that is not awarded often.

With Kim Sønderholm proving his worth as being an incredible method actor, it's congenial to see him being successful as a director. At scenes, his face contorts into a diabolical expression worthy of Lou Ferigno's role as The Incredible Hulk (Circa 80's.) Craig is raw; purely nihilistic and devoid of a single positive emotion. We live in a hostile world and Sønderholm's Craig is a testament to that.

-mAQ