Danielle Harris: A Tale of Two Michael's

In the fall of 1988, Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers was released to an anticipating public. With the star being of young Jewish talent, Danielle Harris put up an admirable role as the little girl who wouldn't stop screaming. Logically, she had every right to but the kicker was that she was very good at acting in hysterics. After this role, she would reprise the Jamie Lloyd character in Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers then found a more generous market in such films as Free Willy, Urban Legend, and my personal favorite - The Last Boy Scout.


Starting in the 90s, Danielle Harris began receiving out-of-the-ordinary fan mail. A stalker had been admiring her from afar in her home in Houston. Can't blame a simple man for wanting someone who's beautiful, successful, and earnest (Or so it seems). To play a character for a role, she cut her hair shorter. In retaliation, the hardened creeper sent spiteful comments separating "old" Danielle with the "new" Danielle, calling her newly used alter-ego a slut. From here on out, the letters got increasingly more savage and morbid with fantastical tales of cutting her delicate body into pieces.


The irony lies solely on the eerie occurrence of her first starring roles being that of a stalker victim. Perhaps this crazed fan idolized Michael Myers more than Danielle Harris? The truth may never be known. The entire incident had been kept under tight wraps. Names, dates, and other gossip necessities are unavailable. In the final incident of violence, the man showed up at her house with a Teddy Bear and a shotgun. Danielle's mom feared for her life as she received a threatening call in the night. Police arrived and promptly arrested the man. Many restraining orders later, she continued to receive fan letters from the stranger begging for forgiveness.



Things seemed good for Danielle Harris after the foul-mouthed efforts of her crazed fan. She appeared on the Dr. Phil show relaying her experiences for a laughable stalker crowd (Highlight is the black woman expressing her love for Jay Z). In the epilogue of this sentimental talk, she basically summarizes the plot of Jennifer Lopez's Enough, in which Lopez embraces her femininity and is trained by a karate master to kick her husband's ass. The move of this perhaps may have strengthened already feeble Oprah fans but only proved to be mildly laughable.



As for the possibility that the stalker could have been mesmerized with Michael Myers, it is very plausible. Take his core in retrospect. He's a menacing yet respectable character of terror. This allows him to have power over any mere mortal. As seen in Halloween 5, he experiences a kiss of love meant for someone else. Such emotional foreplay is his only apparent weakness. Michael Myers is a cold soulless killer whose only weakness is the never-ending psychic link with his relatives. Perhaps pursuing her in a stern and serious manner was his only real chance at being with her. Love does crazy things, eh? I find it fascinating that some hold stalking as the highest form of flattery. A logic that is neither deceptive nor misleading.


In 2007, Rob Zombie began produced and directing his own "spin" on Carpenter's classic Halloween tale of horror simply called Halloween. His idea to revamp the film took what made it a "Halloween" film and redesigned it with more action and more swearing, which isn't a good thing. To appeal to harsh cynical Myers fans, he placed Danielle Harris in the film as a teenager (Whom is actually 30 years old and has never looked better). The equivalent of this role boils down to Harris cock-teasing the screen with her small-town hipster look then running out of a house screaming baring her breasts. When watching Halloween 4 & 5 back-to-back with Halloween (2007), the expeditious jump from childhood innocence to middle-age sex symbol is brazenly apparent mixed with a hint of eroticism and forbidden fruitions that spring to mind.


Danielle Harris has the same symbolic phases that every genre diva has been through. They will encounter a childhood stardom, hit a busty scandalous phase, then to finally settle down. Danielle Harris hit a stint in the horror genre then recently exploded back with a vengeance thanks to Rob Zombie's casting in Halloween (2007). Now she's scheduled for a plethora of horror films, mainly reboots of classic B-movie fare. Judging by the Prank teaser poster, I could wildly assume that Danielle Harris forgot which Halloween film she starred in.



This guy points too much and I don't think Danielle even watches horror films.

Ever since the stalker situation, Danielle Harris' life will never be the same. She was stalked, obsessed over, and emotionally abused. Threatened if she changed and followed to the grave, this deep love will never fade and Rob Zombie's choice to have her bare all was the only exploitative and interesting factor of Halloween (2007). Apart from the real to life stalking incident, Danielle Harris is only a human being who is more beautiful than some others. Time can only tell if this mysterious stalker will "come home" to claim his "reimagined" prize, or other stalkers for that matter. Not a very intelligent move on Ms. Harris' part.

-mAQ

Leprechaun: Back 2 tha Hood

Leprechaun: Back 2 tha Hood is the fifth sequel to the original cult classic that first featured Jennifer Aniston in a leading role. To reprise the terror he already inflicted on the ghetto's of America, the leprechaun goes "back 2 da hood" aimed with the sole challenge of inwardly killing more of the lower class black society. For an urban horror film, this one doesn't hit the spot as opposed to its direct predecessor with such stars as Ice T and Coolio, which in turn makes it a true to life urban horror film and not one that just exploits black unknowns they may have picked up off "tha street".


Despite turning the Leprechaun into a mere shadow of the running gag that he was, the film maintains its own eccentric humor throughout the running time and manages to provide ample entertainment for such a disgusting film. Whether the Leprechaun is hitting on them bootylicious black babes or smoking some of that fine ganja, his adventure will always be wanted time and time again, In fact - I couldn't seem to grow weary of these miscellaneous sequels. It's very profitable towards the film industry machine to create these sequels that surprisingly have a remnant of a replay value.


Warwick Davis returns in his titular role of a smaller stature aimed with protecting "his preciouses". Throughout this film, you will be host to a cruel experiment designed with degrading blacks worse than any previous installment of cinema might have (I still haven't watched Hood Angelz). In Back 2 Tha Hood, even the protagonists are whiny little shits that don't care about education, economy (In a falsified scene, they pretend, but as quick as that subplot was there, it's gone), or the benefit of mankind. If the white race ever intended to create a propaganda video glorifying the master race, this would surely work its charm, and that's all the film really has.


The film has worked its Irish magic well as it has turned the black society into the laughing stock of the internet. In Mobile, Alabama in 2006, many "urban thugz" claimed to have seen a Leprechaun in a tree alerting news vehicles to find a circus of sorts. The only problem is that if you gaze in the Leprechaun's direction, it vanishes. What a double negative. After this video hit the video sharing sites, it exploded into one of the more popular meme's around, creating shirts, buttons, and many Cafepress stores where you can get the iconic idiot's face plastered on any daily product.



And I quote an iMDB forum post.

"wtf the reason they end up bad is because a caucasian production team takes over and cn't actually capture the OUR culture how it shud be !!! so dn't get it twisted! and all the slang is just a stereotype on all US carribean/african heritage's"



Sure, the easy way out of the hole they dug was to market Leprechaun 6 as a "black comedy". While I'll give it the benefit of a doubt, there are surprisingly several funny scenes. The problem is that I can count them on my fingers. Leprechaun: Back 2 tha Hood is another cash cow for the DTV industry. It was cleverly marketed towards people who cannot define an exquisite taste of horror films or cinema in general. Some brainless horror fan might try to spark a debate by screaming how this film is "so bad it's good" but my best advice is to coldly ignore said person/s. This is nothing but a degenerative piece on black culture. Or lack there of, seeing as how director Steven Ayromlooi thinks so little of them.

-mAQ

Toby Dammit

Toby Dammit is a segment featured in the three tales of the macabre by Edgar Allan Poe film Spirits of Dead. I have singled out the segment Toby Dammit because it stands out as the best short film on the feature and is worthy of exclusive mention. The short was directed by master maestro and supposed former circus clown (probably one of his many lies) Italian director Federico Fellini. Toby Dammit is about an alcoholic former Shakespearian actor who is losing his career. For this short, Federico Fellini once again directs the film in a dreamlike surrealism that slightly resembles a nightmare. Some people in the film are merely cutout and models, while most are living. These artificial individuals makes film a disconnected quality of what odd dreams are made of.

Toby Dammit is essentially a nihilist with nothing left to live for. He agrees to do an Italian film in return for a Ferrari that is a signed death wish. Upon entering Italy, Mr. Dammit is bombarded by the paparazzi (the origin of this name is from a photographer in Fellini’s La Dolce Vita) and he becomes immediately annoyed. Toby throws a bag of luggage at one of the paparazzi and is instantly denounced by the photographing scumbags. At the airport, Toby also first comes in contact with a little girl with a ball. As Toby rides up an escalator, is as if he’s finally trying to escape a hell that has been reserved for him. His trip in Italy will soon tell.


The little girl Toby Dammit encounters is very pale, blond haired, and has fairer than fair skin. She smiles in a way that slightly hides her face as if she has something to hide. This girl and her ball look as if they should be on display as priceless porcelain that could be shattered at any minute. On an Italian talk show Toby Dammit is asked if he believes in god and he replies “no.” When asked if he believes in Satan, Toby enthusiastically (for once) replies “yes.” Toby claims that Satan to him is a little girl. What individual would proclaim a little girl to be Satan and why? Toby Dammit is a suffering individual whose inner demons go deeper than merely being an alcoholic.

Toby Dammit attends an Italian award show that looks as if it is shot in a wet, cold cave in hell. Although beautiful women surround Toby and guests show their gratitude, Toby continues to drink himself into a pathetic state. A woman pronounces her love to Toby and he seems like he couldn't care less. Upon reading Shakespeare, Toby tells the audience he could have been a great actor and admits his contempt for all at the show. He immediately runs out of the award show and gets in his Ferrari. The life of luxury and hedonism is not appealing to Toby. It seems as if only the fast and dangerous can revive the bitter soul of this almost lost cause of a man.


Toby Dammit takes his Ferrari and speeds down small roads of an Italian town. He immediately encounters odd wood cutouts of human beings and artificial sheep. Dammit looks as if none of these things bother him as he is eager to get where he is going. He finally encounters a real human being who looks slightly retarded and deranged who does not respond to Toby’s verbal inquiry. Toby drives faster and faster until he reaches a fallen bridge. This single madman car ride is easily more entertaining than any action film car chase I have had the displeasure of watching. Toby knows what he has to do as he sees the little girl with the ball on the other side.


Toby Dammit is one of Federico Fellini’s most overlooked films and as good as his greatest of films. Federico Fellini was a master of mise en scène and Toby Dammit demonstrates the directors ability to make every detail of a shot purposeful. Whether the actors in the film are human or merely cutouts, they are genuinely colorful and many times alluring. How many horror films can say that?

-Ty E

What Have They Done to Your Daughters?

What Have They Done to Your Daughters? is a notable giallo film made in 1973 depicting politically incorrect themes of child prostitution rings. The fact that this film depicted societal figures high in power being corrupt throughout an illegal ring is a ballsy move for Massimo Dallamano. This is the same director of such iconic genre films as the idealistic sequel What Have They Done to Solange? and Venus in Furs. If the stylistic approach to this gialli seems familiar, note that Dallamano also was the cinematographer to Sergio Leone's For A Few Dollars More.


As with most Italian crime thrillers, the music leads the film while serenading your ears with eerie synth and prog-rock aversions. A black mysterious Wraith-figure is constantly escaping the crime scenes armed with a cleaver. This eventually leads into the most magnificent scene of a cop with idle hands getting it chopped off which leads into a color explosion of filters and a stream of blood. The sound effects are purely a tour de force. What Have They Done to Your Daughters? is a work in giallo that is clearly a film made for entertainment and a PSA to missing children.


The film takes an exciting Bikesploitation turn as we are assaulted with many-a chase scenes on a flashy classic Italian motorcycle. This film works as a powerful drama, murder mystery, and a detective story. It does more with three genres than a film with one can muster. It takes the child prostitution sub line and adds a really creepy vibe. Whenever I view Lifetime films of the sort about human trafficking, I just cannot help but laugh at the dramatic reenactments reeking of post-industry trauma.


In an overview of this marvelous piece of work, It really is hard to label this film in my endearing retrospect. If you're a fan of crime cinema in general, this film should find a home snugly within your confines of tastes. In a world populated with horrid uninspired films chronicling events that are dismayed upon, What Have They Done to Your Daughters? hits the spot on terms of pure sleaze. If I had a daughter, watching this film would sure tweak my nerves.

-mAQ

Lost in Translation

Sofia Coppola never had to “struggle” as a budding director because her father Francis is one the most famous American filmmakers to ever live. She is best known for her horrible acting performance is her Daddy’s film Godfather III. Filmmakers should take note that just because you love your daughter doesn’t mean she should have a leading role in a very popular trilogy despite her lack of professionalism. It can be assumed that after her failure as an actress, she thought it would be a good idea to hide behind the camera as a director. After all, if the films she directs are embarrassing, at least she didn’t have to show her face.

Lost in Translation was Sofia Coppola’s third film and it won the Academy Award for screenplay and three Golden Globe Awards. The film maintained a certain amount of hype even causing redneck types to watch something they didn’t expect to get into. I once recall seeing an angry blue collar man demanding a video store clerk to give him a another rental because Lost in Translation was not funny. Well, that redneck was pretty accurate in his film analysis. Lost in Translation is the type of film cosmopolitan feminists and weak baby doll shirt wearing males rave about. The reason is obvious; like themselves the film is soulless.


The film follows Bob (Bill Murray) and Scarlet Johansson (Charlotte) as they feel lost in the “culture shock” world of digital metropolis Japan. The young Charlotte feels like she is having second thoughts about her marriage with her wussy photographer husband. Leave it to a cynical and alcoholic Bob (who is in Japan to shoot a Whiskey advertisement) to save Charlotte’s plague of social awkwardness and loneliness. The two new friends frolic around Japan and have the most quirky fun of their life. I can imagine a young hipster guy with contrived nerd glasses saying to himself, “now that’s humanity.”

Sofia Coppola’s portrayal of Japan is just silly and borders on offensive. Had the film been set in the Congo, looking at the country in a similar arrogant context, there would have been a yeast infection fueled outcry among all of America’s coffee houses. Sofia Coppola, like Jim Jarmusch in Mystery Train, seems to think of the Japanese as cultureless materialists that have adopted a distorted version of American culture. I guess that’s what happens when America drops a few Atom bombs on Japanese cities.


So yes, two people you would never expect to get together do just that, because they feel lost in Japan. How quirky and cute. I was just waiting for Bob to “give it to” Charlotte but I think too much alcohol and lack of overall energy has made the man impotent. Maybe the film would have been more interesting if two rednecks were stranded in Hispanic populated Los Angeles with no way out. Possibly, they would come together for the benefit of humanity and expose real American gringo patriotism to hostile slightly-literate, Spanish speaking teenage gang members. That would be a true American comedy about things that get “Lost in Translation. ”

-Ty E

Death Bell

Death Bell is a newer Korean horror film depicting schoolhouse violence in a similar vein to the Eko Eko Azarak trilogy. The scenes are composed of incredible acting, stylish effects, and a sleek and very clean production value. In other words, your standard Korean film. Of any country's ability to hone their cinema into a specified technical category, the one that never bends the rules is Korea. Sometimes this is a good thing, other times, not so much.


Death Bell starts off just as any other Asian film made in 2008; really confusing with a scrambled plot. These Asian films love to start off in media res just to accentuate how cool and flashy their cinema is. I couldn't be more annoyed. As Death Bell boils into a solid film, we are treated to several small contingencies. These also double as irritating tortures. For one, a really out-of-place disco club scene in which all the Asians dance together waving their fingers around in some post-Saturday Night Fever masquerade. What really drives this scene over the edge is that fact that all the Asians look alike.


As soon as Death Bell (Go-sa) becomes conscious of how convoluted the plot is and how nothing is clicking in the viewer's brain, it throws the obstacle into the film. While students find themselves in what is first believed to be a terrorist attack from a student, they find their student body is threatened when random (or are they?) students are put in death traps and the only resolve is to answer a test problem. This special test will decide the fate of who lives and who dies. All is fine in cinema land until the film turns into a murder mystery.


A throbbing orchestral score preluded with a beautiful opera piece is what drives the powerful requiems of understanding. The death scenes have the same quirks that populate the Saw series. This is also why the Saw series is so looked up to and this is the same reason why most people will really like Death Bell. When I was 3/4th's into the film, I found myself bored of the chases and the time limits. I don't like to be rushed during a film but eventually it all smoothed out into a fine outing of recent suspense/horror.


Death Bell is a rare occurrence; a film that starts off good, goes sour, and then allows its buoyancy to lift it back up to the surface. If not for the creative deaths and well-acted characters, you should at least watch it for the powerful and moving ending that dictates a strict philosophy on revenge. You may get even, but when does the suffering really end? Death Bell gets my recommendation for averaging into a watchable and entertaining film.

-mAQ

Chaos

Chaos is a foul and repugnant film. The stench of death and vermin will no doubt be excreted from your television set. I use the words "brutal" and "nihilistic" when needed be, but after a while, the films start to lose their impact. Sure, the subject matter might be way over average viewer's heads but I always retain the fact that it was once disturbing to me. One word I've never had to use in a review - Savage. Chaos is absolutely the most savage experiment ever planned out and filmed. This is also the reason that Chaos fell into an early grave.


Chaos is another rehash of Bergman's The Virgin Spring. Even though Last House on the Left was an uncredited remake, I don't enjoy the idea of picking on David DeFalco's film just because it made somebody shit their pants due to the embodiment of evil acted out by Kevin Gage. David DeFalco is an absolute lunatic, if you couldn't tell by his film making. To promote Chaos, he galloped around LA Coroner's Crypt babbling about evil while shirtless. At least it's more thought out than David Lynch making a public appearance with cattle.

Chaos isn't nearly a shot-by-shot remake as you might have read from the many flamers this film has pissed off. I like to think of it as a thought-by-thought remake. DeFalco takes a scene, imagines to himself "Hey, we need to change the bumbling cop duo and add some race relations to ante up the tension!" and it works like gold. There's so many things I can't stand about Craven's heralded "masterpiece". It might have been terrifying years ago but we have Chaos now.


Kevin Gage acts alongside Sage Stallone (Who is also co-owner of the fabulous Grindhouse Releasing) and both deliver incredible acting performances. Whereas Kevin Gage builds up the terror with his impressionable evil gestures and facial contortions, Sage Stallone mellows the screen out as the one participant who isn't sure if he is alright with what's going on. By the end of the film, you will suddenly be aware of the evil that exists all around. You will realize that you are breathing manually and that anyone can take that away from you on a mere whim.


Chaos is easily one of the worst reviewed films of all time. The score averages at around 7%. Do the math and understand how many people felt persuaded by their virtues, morals, and other reviewers into spitting venomous remarks at this film. As a kid I did the same with Rocky Horror Picture Show. I eventually cleared my head, re-watched it and fell in love. I urge you to get your own opinion on this film. The film might have been tasteless and a unbridled nightmare, but that doesn't mean it's a bad effort.

This film harmed me more ways than Last House on the Left ever hoped to. Chaos is full of violence and rape, but most of it is implied and shown off screen. The voyeuristic techniques of the camera are denied and proves that there are still some things where we shouldn't tread. Chaos has a delirious low-key ending that blows the original material's out of the water. You will be left stranded without a sick sense of glory. Only a few choice films have this incredible power to sicken. Enjoy it while it lasts.

-mAQ

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 was released in 1986 as a promising sequel to one of the scariest films of all time. What the audience got was not the promised messiah but perhaps the most misunderstood film in the history of celluloid. This remains the only Texas Chainsaw Massacre sequel to uphold to the original timeline of the horrific incident that occurred in the summer of 1973.

Mainly focusing on family excursions, a now lost side-story revealing Lefty to be Stretch's illegitimate daughter was completely erased. This might have boasted a scene of powerful emotions between the eccentric and disc jockey but I digress otherwise. The saw is family is what the tag line promises, but what they failed to mention is how many rewrites the original script had. So much original material was canned due to Cannon Films' not being appreciative towards a satire classic. If the first film was the landmark for horror, then the second is the landmark for horror-comedy. While not being mainly humor, there is enough grue and taboo material to satisfy the deepest blood lust. A rich blend of satire and an equal dose of horror leaves you in shock. You don't know whether to laugh or flinch.


The first archived TCM body count consisted of irritating hippies and the most obnoxious ass hat in a wheelchair ever. The fact that a character this annoying whilst handicapped gave me a temporary hatred for the movement-impaired. To make a complete full turn from the originals material, the newly elected cattle has been handpicked by Tobe Hooper and the writer to be yuppies. After all, these are almost completely opposite character types. One's dirty and sleazy, relying on nature and beauty while the other is stuck up, a fruit cake, and completely dependent on technology. This marks the huge generation gap.


In Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, Leatherface is given a colorful personality outside of being a psychopath with a chainsaw. He meets Stretch and falls in love. What ensues is a beautifully erotic scene of chainsaw foreplay. Clutching the almost phallic instrument of wood-cutting and death, he caresses her inner thigh with the sharp edges of the saw teeth. The result is a blissfully erotic scene in a lampooned horror film. Much of these "out of place" scenes actually give the film its own place to settle down.

One of the sparkling new additions to the TCM lore is the arrival of the new iconic character - Chop-Top. Bill Moseley from House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil's Rejects fame stars as the screwy character with a metal plate in his head. He dishes out some A grade dialogue and livens up every scene he is in. I don't know what's better - watching Chop-Top scratch the cusp of his skin where it meets flesh with a hot coat hanger or Dennis Hopper dual-wielding small chainsaws with war in his eyes.


The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 boils down to a hilarious parody of its former self and I gladly accept the new transition. What follows this film is two incredibly horrible sequels that depict our lovable anti-hero as a cross-dressing homosexual. Tobe Hooper has created gold with the first two Texas Chainsaw Massacre films and created cinematic atrocities such as Eaten Alive. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 features everything to love about the horror genre with a truly terrifying scene of Leatherface storming out of a record vault ready to maim. With a starring role from an insane Dennis Hopper and Bill Moseley as the lovable Chop-Top, this remains a bold classic that is true to itself.

-mAQ

Leprechaun 3

Warwick Davis returns to wreak more havoc in the first direct-to-video sequel of the Leprechaun anthology. This time, he adopts a Dolemite (R.I.P.) form of Irish lingo as he makes a rhyme out of nearly every sentence - most concerning murder and Irish quirks. Leprechaun 3 was the most popular rental film of 1995 and with a decent enough reason to be. It's slightly disappointing that this film wasn't shot in 3D as originally intended though. I would have loved seeing a dwarf in horrific makeup jump out of the screen.


A far cry from the original formula, this film is among the first transcendence into kooky territory. Things get completely spacey and racy when the Leprechaun heads into space then into the hood... twice. So far out of memory, this is the most enjoyable sequel I've seen. I need to re-watch a couple of the other films, but this one captures a Teen Wolf motif as Scott slowly turns into a potato eating Leprechaun. Warning: Exposure to Leprechaun bites may lead to nonsensical Irish rhymes, sideburns, a potato fetish, and many other Irish stereotypes to be exploited. Proceed with caution.


Once you've seen one comical direct-to-video slasher discharge, you've more or less seen them all. One thing going towards Leprechaun 3 on terms of originality is the pseudo-seductive television woman who transforms into a Giger creation with a hint of Funny Man to fry his circuits. All of the kills are incredibly loony. Eyes pulled out of a sleazy Italian magician's face, death by chainsaw, and strangling a pawn shop broker with a phone cord after a impressionable 15 minute scene toying with his imminent execution.

Leprechaun 3 is a pretty light-hearted horror film with some of those post-80s classic gore effects - mainly the toe biting scene. That was insistently graphic for its time. A film that exploits the sin-haven's that are casino's would be Wishmaster 2: Evil Never Dies. The floors for gambling become a flesh farm as the evil Djinn harvests hundreds of souls. Too bad the Leprechaun didn't take advantage of the real Sin City. Instead of imagining a potential body count, he'd rather impersonate Elvis.


All in all, Leprechaun 3 is a quirky direct-to-video sequel that is for a fun viewing. It really shows off the DTV capabilities of the 90s compared to the now. It's like modern horror directors aren't trying. If you expect horrible puns and aimless killing as people exploit the power of the Leprechaun's magical coin, you're in for a treat. If you are, however, looking for an intelligent slasher film based around an old Irish legend, you're in for a huge let-down.

-mAQ

Inferno

With several hallucinatory films under my belt, I head on to tackle Dario Argento's Inferno - a sequel of-sorts to Suspiria. My own ideas and beliefs lead to my opinion of Inferno being the best of Argento's Three Mothers trilogy, starting with the incredibly over-hyped and flawed Suspiria and ending with the bloody equivalent to Harry Potter film Mother of Tears. The dreamlike visuals cannot be patented by any such artist considering that Hausu and Suspiria were both released in the same year. Long lost ethnic brothers? Maybe.


Inferno tracks the Argento touch of a woman in a fluidized dress and her distress. Rather from sticking to the feminist damsel aspect, the film kills off said female and moves to the next. You wonder to yourself which female will save the day but when all the women are dead and only a man, name of Mark, stands in the debris. You find yourself in an entirely new tale of terror from one of Italy's finest directors who have actually refined their style into an adaptable needle - puncturing all conventions of murder cinema.


It's a dear shame this one wasn't as critically received as its predecessor. This is arguably the better rendition of Suspiria. I found the imagery in Inferno to be a perfected art. The furious reds and the cool blue hues meshed into a filter that glazed nearly every scene. I cannot take "supernatural horror" the same after I've seen this film. Whenever I see a tale of witchcraft or occultism and it lacks the neon colors that tinge the screen, I feel disappointed that no other similar film will carry the same tremor. Inferno will have left a huge impact on you - whether you love it or not.


Many of the effects are pure genius, such as the plexiglass bridge over a lake in central park that allows a mad murderous man to exact the whim of a faraway witch. Food for the rats, I suppose. What Coffin Joe did with tarantula's in This Night I'll Possess Your Corpse, Argento did with sewer rats in Inferno. If scurrying rodents manage to unnerve you in the slightest bit, then this might be a film to look out for. Argento made sure to use each set to full advantage. Each delirious curve of the stair rail provides a raw setting and instrument used by the actor.


Total Film magazine called Inferno one of the 50 greatest horror films of all time and It's easy to see why. If it's not the mysterious killer stalking beautiful women or the hallucinogenic film experience that ensnares you in its grasp, then it's the mellow instrumental score by Keith Emerson. While not being a substitute for Goblin, it provides a softer experience that allows the ambiance of death to settle swiftly. An operatic masterpiece of supernatural horror and one of Argento's best.

-mAQ

Cruising

Director William Friedkin is best known for his dated cop action film The French Connection and his overrated Antichrist horror-extravaganza The Exorcist. Friedkin’s 1980 film Cruising is the overrated directors masterpiece. The film is one that came out way ahead of its time and was wasted on an American audience that couldn’t appreciate the darker things in the life. Cruising follows a cop (played by Al Pacino) as he goes undercover in the gay S&M subculture hoping to find a homosexual serial killer. This homosexual must be self-loathing, because his targets are always the men he engages in perverted acts with. These victims “made him do it.”

Cruising in a way reminded me of William Lustig’s gritty and sometimes slow action film Maniac. That being said, Maniac star Joe Spinell also makes an appearance in Cruising as a misogynistic cop that forces drag queen prostitutes to perform fellatio on him. Not only does Cruising feature the depravity of the ultra macho S&M subculture, but it also features unexpected members of it. Cruising will be sure to scare anyone the next time they encounter a cop after watching it.

Al Pacino is best known for his performance as Michael Corleone in Francis Ford Coppola’s Godfather trilogy. The American movie going audience cherishes the Godfather series as the peak of masterful filmmaking. I have no hesitation in stating that Al Pacino’s performance in Cruising is superior to that of his performances in the Godfather series. Let’s face it, any American wop on the street could have played the “stoic” godfather character just as easily. In Cruising, Pacino had to play the role of a cop and a man acting as a perverted homosexual. His performance in Cruising shows both his versatility as an actor and ability to take on daring roles. The whole Sicilian criminal and gangster thing, although hilarious, can get a little old after a while. Until I saw Cruising, I just thought of Al Pacino as your typical Sicilian American exploiting his race for financial gain.

Cruising also features a notable soundtrack that compliments the overall chaotic nature of the film. Originally, the punk legends The Germs were supposed to contribute a number of songs to the films soundtrack. I found it unfortunate that only one The Germs song (Lion’s Share) made the film. The legendary singer of The Germs, Darby Crash, was also a sadistic homosexual that found his idols in Adolf Hitler, Oswald Spengler, Friedrich Nietzsche, and Charles Manson. With Darby Crash’s style of dress and belligerent personality, he would have fit perfectly as one of the of the leather clad men looking to suffer permanent damage after a night at an S&M bar.

The gay community had a hissy fit upon the release of Cruising. People in the homosexual community felt that the film promotes violence and hatred against gays. I think that people who hate gays already have their mind made up on that issue regardless of the film Cruising. If anything, Cruising makes the gay community look a whole lot better than some show like Queer Eye For the Straight Guy. The mainstream homosexual media is a bunch of effeminate fairies that just give Americans more reason to hate them. I also checked out Amazon. com customer reviews for Cruising and an entire army of Gays excrement (lose bowels maybe?) their baseless claims that Cruising is a homophobic film.

Cruising easily has the most depth of any of the films William Friedkin has ever directed and will ever direct. The film takes a look at the psychological motivation of the gay killer and how his Daddy wouldn’t give him any love. Al Pacino seems to find it hard not to get trapped in the world of gay S&M. The man has some serious scenes of self doubt in Cruising in which he explodes with homoerotic anger. The film also portrays the often domestic abuse between gay lovers quite accurately. I have had more than one cop tell me about a gay lover smashing in the face of another. Cruising should have been the first mainstream gay film put on a pedestal and not the viewer friendly gay romanticized love drama Brokeback Mountain.

-Ty E

Splinter

Remember that film released not too long ago called The Ruins? Yeah, that was a disappointment on some level. So visual affects designer Toby Wilkins decided to direct a loose adaptation of the general could-be theory of a vegetative parasite that attaches itself to humans. The rules might have been changed but the final product is a wholly entertaining spectacle with some down-right vicious effects that makes my nerves twitch.


It's as if Cabin Fever and Goosebumps' Stay Out of the Basement had a wonderful Mandrake child that is as vicious as it was cute. A loving couple of awkward clichés get taken on a hostage trip when their original plan of camping gets trampled on. From this point on, they will stop at a gas station to give witness to a new genetic strain of parasite - one leaving its mark on horror society by sprouting vicious quivering spikes and practicing the art of symbiosis with victims in order to create a vicious spiny creature.


The infection is spread through contact with blood stream. Typical horror rules apply. Sever the limb and avoid contact. Survive as long as you can until help arrives. While Splinter is your average horror film in most ways, this still makes it better than 83% of horror films nowadays. Statistically speaking, horror sucks now. The oasis of fruitful ideas to bring terror on screen is in a drought thanks to modern directors. That passion of film is barren and dry. Brainstorming only generates dust. There are still many great untapped ideas that haven't been completed successfully and this was one of them.


Splinter falls prey to it's own appetite for destruction but ends on a relatively disappointing explosion. The final product is a vibrating mess that found itself victim to the "shaky-cam" syndrome. Due to this small flaw, we are denied any substance known as tension or suspense when we see a thorny and bloody monster rampaging after us. This could have be almost nerve-shattering but the full transcending never took place. Can you imagine having roots and splinters invading your mortal flesh? Stuff made of nightmares, folks.


When the light dims, Splinter is a competent creature feature film featuring a pretty decent cast. For being a list of unknowns, the convict resembles Henry Rollins in fierceness and masculinity while the savvy lead seems more like an innocent Daniel Stern in the Little Monsters era. If you're looking for a monster movie or an infection film, look no further. For being hatched in the dull year of 2008, it's nice to have something to smile back on.

-mAQ