S&M Hunter

Bondage and Superhero are two terms that normally don't mix unless you are viewing Sentai pinku or digging deep enough in Japanese fetishdom. Since both S&M Hunter and Sentai pinku come from the same culture, maybe it's best that you familiarize yourself with the term pinku and the variety of pleasurable oddities it provides. Pinku is a style of softcore theatrical film. Most catering to the fetishists in us. Always vulgar and always appealing, even in a disgusting sense. The most popular subsidiary's of pinku include rape and Japanese rope bondage, which is a lost art. This is how S&M Hunter springs to mind.


A caped bondage superhero simply dubbed S&M Hunter has been recruited by a man to retrieve his gay partner from an all girl gang called The Bombers. These women have kidnapped his partner for forced sex in order to get back at the species they hate; men. These fiery feminazis (taken too literal at one point) have literally been raping the kidnapped man for days. Now this may be every mans dream. Naked women arm-wrestling over a blade towards the prize of fucking a male that is submissed on a table with no where to go. These leatherheads claim to hate men but their actions prove they are needed. This is a recurring message throughout S&M Hunter. Despite being sexy smut, S&M Hunter is laced with intricate lines from what could be poetry detailing the weaker traits of the female.


S&M Hunter is yet another showcase of the Japanese obsession with Nazi regalia. In most pinku films, the swastika flows freely as a sign of forecoming and current themes rooted in breaking taboos. S&M Hunter is a vulgar exercise in the art of the fetish. While letting off a scent of the serious topic, things get increasingly wacky, creating a manga-like experience for all those that are involved. A low budget badge is something to wear proud. The effects of the rope play are prodigious, only strengthened by the enigmatic anti-lead of the S&M Hunter.


Just when things were looking rough for the pinku market on American soil, the new office of Pink Eiga has opened up, thus opening our options extremely in turn. Sporting such provocative and outrageous material as Semen Demon and Whore Hospital, my only recommendation for this company is to pick up the license for the masterpiece of pinku cinema - Captured for Sex 2. S&M Hunter is everything that I could imagine or desire from a self-referential sex piece that features wonderful rope artistry. And the finale where the Dungeon Master's revelation considers you, the viewer, to be the ultimate sadist? That's a legendary scene in meta film making. If you weren't a sadist, why else would you be curious about a film such as this?

-mAQ

Godzilla vs. Biollante

Of all the Kaiju films I've laid my eyes upon, of all the monster mashes I've been subjected to, none has been as story driven as Godzilla vs. Biollante. Following up the events that transpired at the end of The Return of Godzilla, we find that Godzilla is still sealed in the volcano and while scientists excavate what's left of Tokyo, they find a sample of Godzilla's ultra-radiated hide. This sparks a battle between corporations and mercenaries which will stretch across 5 years time making this a Godzilla epic.


When the dust settles, a scientist has eventually combined the DNA of both rose and Godzilla. This seems like a great idea so the scientist is a little bit surprised when the plant eventually turns into an aggressive plant that escapes into the ocean and develops a "large" problem. That being said, Biollante is possessed with the spirit of the Doctor's dead daughter, Erika. Soon the Godzilla genes take over and Biollante challenges Godzilla to a brawl. Being a tentacled acid-spitting evolutionary beast of burden, Godzilla has some trouble in this one and even becomes scarred by the excreted venom. The Biollante is a creature of applaud. A dentist won a contest hosted by Toho and created a storyline featuring a plant creature. This venture proves to be a breath of fresh air from dinosaurs and other lizards. At least Rampage and Primal Rage had giant apes.



Godzilla vs. Biollante features an infamous versus set up or match/rematch. While many films have the similar pattern, none explore the possibilities of setting up the rest of the film without a confronting obstacle. Just when you mistakingly convince yourself that Biollante is in fact dead, the creature exacts its own instincts and archaic survival methods, thus resulting in a pseudo-photosynthesis allowing the creature to reach 100% final form and becoming more monster than plant. This battle becomes more thrilling than the last and becomes one of the greater destructive forces in the Godzilla library.


Being the eighteenth film in a franchise is no easy task. Godzilla is truly its country's mascot. Being able to still be able to sell well over a million tickets way past his prime, but there's the beauty; there is no prime for Godzilla. Godzilla is eternal. If Uwe Boll were to make a Godzilla film, I'd gladly watch it and enjoy it. While some entries aren't needed, they aren't necessarily horrible. Then again, I haven't gotten to Godzilla vs. Megalon as of this moment. The definition of a popcorn flick should officially altered to read "Godzilla". Plain and simple.


Godzilla vs. Biollante is much more than a destruction derby with rubber suits - it's a thriving character drama that almost focuses more on the stars than our lovable lizard and various cohorts. While many of the exploits of the tiny people of Tokyo border on creeping slow and bland, it's more than most Godzilla films can say. That being, them incorporating mysterious tiny Island representatives, faeries, and the like. Godzilla vs. Biollante features a psychic but I'm not letting it get to me too much. Godzilla vs. Biollante isn't much of a departure from the original sequel formula, but contains enough zest and creativity to mold an unexplored environment for you. There's no fancy space gizmo's and gadgets in this film. Although, Biollante's spores form the soon coming villain, SpaceGodzilla. Hrm...

-mAQ

Eye in the Sky

Surveillance is a controvertible issue in todays society. Recently given a high profile makeover by films like The Dark Knight, Christopher Nolan explains in a key scene his extreme distaste for surveillance. Born in London, Nolan must feel that his privacy is being invaded. If there were cameras on every street corner here, I'd feel pretty pissed off as well. His aggressive resistance of a constantly watched area is exactly the same thoughts provoked in Hong Kong's Eye in the Sky.


Eye in the Sky, or Surveillance, is directed by a Johnnie To protégé Nai-Hoi Yau. In a bizarre reverse collaboration, Eye in the Sky proves to be a solid debut directorial effort but lacks much substance; enough to call itself a "true" thriller. The by-product is watchable, enjoyable, and quite suspenseful and taut. Simon Yam, the character-driven star of Dragon Dynasty's own Killzone, performs as the lead character actor of our story in Eye in the Sky, code named Dog Head. Hiding behind a grizzled face and glasses, Yam is almost unrecognizable.


A special police division exists. One so secret that the only citizens informed are the ones involved with the project. The group is called SU; short for Surveillance Unit, if you haven't guessed. A young woman was recently accepted into the group. The group utilizes cameras set up all over China so that these may aid the professional "actors" that are scattered around hot spots. For instance, if a pedophile was wandering around San Diego, a team of people would go undercover as a population in order to follow the culprit to their location. With the taste of pursuing and the stage acting, this apparatus of the film provides us the age old question of "What if?"


For dizzying chase sequences lavishly placed in a fine sequential order, Eye in the Sky is your bidding. Eye in the Sky has that healthy share of violence that you need, but not too much. At least compared to Dog Bite Dog, which featured some rather brutal shots of action. Eye in the Sky is a fitting film for someone who appreciates Eastern action. Swearing accommodation and light-hearted moments as well, there is something for everyone to like. Just pretend this film is a rough draft of a brilliant idea, then the cynicism won't come out as much.

-mAQ

Valkyrie

Valkyrie is the latest big production from Hollywood hack Bryan Singer. Singer tried to scare us about the evils of Nazis with his laughably propagandistic film Apt Pupil. With Valkyrie, Singer takes us for a history lesson with a roman catholic Nazi colonel Claus von Stauffenberg and his plot to kill Hitler. Going into the film, you already know what is going to happen. Valkyrie is a mildly entertaining and sometimes thrilling film that somewhat attempts to martyr the conspirators that tried to take out uncle Herr Wolf at his private quarters via suitcase bomb.

The fact that Tom Cruise plays the lead role of Clause Von Stauffenberg is what attracted me to this film the most. Aside from being in a Nazi uniform, Cruise also sports an eye patch and a missing arm to boot! After hearing about Tom Cruise's life devotion to Scientology and his recent public religious outbursts, I expected to see a man who meant serious Hitler killing business. Unsurprisingly, Tom Cruise's megalomania of sorts makes his performance worth seeing. All jokes aside, Tom Cruise is still a guy that takes his acting performances seriously despite what people have to say on the contrary.


Apparently, many German film critics were offended by Cruise's performance in Valkyrie. German film critic Hanns-Georg Rodek of the German newspaper Die Welt stated of Cruise's performance, "He comes over best as an American hero, someone who battles for respect with aggression and energy. But Stauffenberg was a German hero, with aristocratic bearing, and Cruise cannot carry that off." Rodek’s statement is fair as America is hardly a country of “aristocrats” but more like third and fourth generation well off peasants. But then again, what American actor could play a German aristocrat well?


Being your typical arrogant and ignorant Hollywood production, Valkyrie lacks a certain authenticity that you come to expect from most World War II films. The most annoying thing being the variety of different “English” accents for these German Nazis. In all honesty, I didn’t expect to hear much German in the film as Americans hate (and for the most part maybe can’t?) read subtitles. Valkyrie features a variety of actors from around the world and even a handful from Germany. Some of the actors playing historical figures look ridiculous in comparison to the real-life individuals. I especially liked the vaudevillian looking man who played the sinister character of Joseph Goebbels.


Valkyrie is not a beat down of postwar propaganda nor is it an amazing world war II epic. It is simply a film you watch to see your favorite actors dressed up in fancy Nazi uniforms. For anyone that liked the German Hitler bunker film Downfall, Valkyrie continues the tradition of new, big budget Nazi flicks. Also, Cruise's "Heil Hitler" salute with a nub for a arm is mandatory viewing. Hell, Valkyrie is also one of Hollywood’s closest attempts at morally redeeming any German citizens that lived during the Nazi era. Now that’s progress.

-Ty E

Zorn's Lemma

I hadn't updated myself on the consistency of this avant-garde/experimental piece from one of Peter Greenaway's favorite auteurs - Hollis Frampton. I went in a complete virgin to the ideas and anti-synopsis that Zorn's Lemma embraces, or even Hollis Frampton for that matter. The curious title of Zorn's Lemma is the equivalent of the Axiom of Choice. You've heard of the musical genre Math Rock, now witness cinema propelled by the theory of mathematics.



A fan base for this type of material is certainly hard to find. Many viewers will get bored, tired, irritated, and irrational after a small time dealing with Zorn's Lemma. This is a prime example of one of the harder films to get through. I'd personally like to view Frampton's Lemon. I've heard of the techniques he dabbles in, such as dissecting light. Once your eyes and mind adjust to the creeping attack of structured mathematics, you will become accustomed to this. Perhaps, you can open your mind up enough to allow films like this and La Jetée to convince you that a slide show effort isn't fruitless.



Hollis Frampton conjures up a sixty minute slide show scored from static and weird glitch blips. Billboards and signs continuously make up a very clockwork alphabet. The pattern soon drills in your brain, absorbing the boredom you may have acquired like a sponge. Pretty soon, your motor skills will eventually cease and a form of a hypnotizing trance will take hold. At least, that's what happened to me. Zorn's Lemma is an experience that is unrivaled. With no stars, no narrative, and no sound, this is a film that is unequivocally one of a kind.

-mAQ

The Iron Rose

The Iron Rose is the fifth feature length film directed by the French auteur who created among the first of the X-rated genre and gore film within his country of France. With most of his film entwining vampirism and erotic elements, The Iron Rose is a detachment from the formula of his normal vampire films and is treading more on territory paved by Jodorowsky's Fando y Lis. The theme of The Iron Rose will later be taken and given a highly controversial subtext of pedophilia and retitled Maladolescenza.


Young lovers escape into a graveyard at night for passionate adventures and love making sessions. In the midst of their heated moments, night breaks and they are lost within the walls of the cemetery. As the night bleeds more, their character's explode into a frenzy, prompting many violent situations, running, and surrealist scenes of gravestones at night. Wrapping up with a truly poetic final scene, The Iron Rose is sincere and disquieting but completely illogical. Many of the fairytale situations encountered by the incredibly lovely Françoise Pascal and the Crispin Glover lookalike Hugues Quester could have been avoided had common sense been employed.


Rule of thumb: If you're lost within a walled establishment, walk till you reach the wall, then follow the wall until you reach the exit. Rather than ending the film properly, and on a happy note for that matter, Rollin decided to make his characters appear mentally handicapped in their quest for escape. I haven't explored much of Rollin's filmography but I hope his Fantastique cinema offerings conjure up some logic and sense rather than embarrassing and frustrating me.


As I mentioned, the formula was perfected both in the past and the future by Fando y Lis and Maladolescenza. These films come highly recommended over this one. The Iron Rose does feature the ravishing Miss Pascal dance around in the nude but after her frequent outbursts of childlike screaming, the aforementioned scenes become anti-titillating and disappointing. The Iron Rose is your generic French arthouse fare but this is dressed up more like a midnight movie than artistic impressionism. If you can manage to discover this, the most misstreated film in his oeuvre, you'd be minded the give it a chance.

-mAQ

Runaway

It was set in stone. Runaway was going to be the smash sci-fi hit of the 80s, that is, until James Cameron's The Terminator devastated the market for "cyberpunk" action films. Runaway is a film that is very bizarre in concept. Imagine a script with the some of the virtues of I, Robot but set in the 80s with an incredibly aged look that makes you stick your tongue out in disgust. Tom Selleck leads the late Michael Crichton scripted & directed film, with an exuberant Gene Simmons (of KISS fame) as the villain equipped with DNA seeking missiles.


I could be a genre whore and dub this a cyberpunk film but alas, there is no punk aspect of Runaway. Perhaps Cybergeriatric is a far more fitting tag for Runaway. Tom Selleck is a flawed character. Revel in that for several seconds because that's what the entire film is going to barrage you with. Early on, you learn that Selleck has a fear of heights, so for the next 60 or so minutes, you will see Selleckexpressing his immediate distaste for heights and his hatred for rogue robots. While a semi-similar film Demolition Man created a new Utopian playground and clever electronics, you will stare confoundedly at the same acid spitting spiders and bleeping cardboard boxes for quite some time.


Since the passing of Michael Crichton, the literary world will forever be shadowed by the titanic impact he made, on both mediums of film and literature. His novel Jurassic Park was adapted into one of the largest groundbreaking blockbusters of all time. His film Westworld was wacky, thrilling, and genius. With Crichton gone, I'd like to see his novel Prey faithfully adapted into what we can mindlessly label "nanopunk." Runaway was just one of Crichton's films that has spoiled from exposure.


All is not lost though, there is chemistry between the two partners and the script isn't that bad. It's a precise clone of what made the 80s so eighty's. Runaway is entirely watchable If you can manage to look past its many flaws; there is even charm hidden under the clam shell of my VHS case. With an erratic soundtrack scored by Jerry Goldsmith, Runaway is almost memorable, but falls short of being a definitive classic of entertainment.

-mAQ